How to make self-care a natural part of your routine

Last week in Daisy’s World, I wrote about my ‘unusual’ habit of dining alone in restaurants. The responses confirmed my assumption—eating alone in public is something not everyone is comfortable with. However, I also received fascinating feedback from readers who regularly dine solo.

One said, “Dining alone is an opportunity for me to fall in love and renew my vows with myself. It’s also a great time to offload and release the unnecessary.” Another remarked, “I thought I was the only one who enjoys this. You perfectly captured the waiters' reactions and expectations.”

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One of my friends, Helen, loved the article too and, as usual, took the time to share her feedback. “I want to commend you for how you take the time and spend money on self-care and pampering,” she said. She ended her glowing comments by requesting that I write an article on self-care with some helpful tips.

What Helen may not realise is that one of my self-care practices is the long, affirming, and funny conversations I have with her. We all have that one friend we can chat with for hours because they exude good vibes, making us feel better.

For me, that friend is Helen. On any given day, we tell each other goodnight at least three times because we just can’t seem to end the conversation. On good days, we stick to texting, but most days, it’s a combination of voice notes, texts, and Facebook tags, all to keep our ongoing WhatsApp chats lively.

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If you don’t have a friend like Helen—someone who keeps you entertained while grounding you in important aspects of life, like your faith—you might be missing a vital part of your self-care toolkit.

Besides having deep, authentic conversations with close friends, what else counts as self-care? For me, anything that energises me is self-care—anything that excites me, which pretty much covers everything I choose to spend my time on.

Figuring out what is truly meaningful to you isn’t as complicated as we often make it out to be. Here’s a cheat sheet: If you only had 24 hours to live, what would you regret not spending enough time doing? What are some of the things you will rush to do? Who is that person you will want to have lunch with? What book will you truly wish you had read? I know that’s a morbid example, but stay with me.

Understanding what’s truly important helps you cut out a lot of the unnecessary things we waste time on—like activities we do just because everyone in our generation seems to be doing them. There’s nothing wrong with trying new things, but don’t force yourself to do things for ‘optics’ or ‘for the Gram’.

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If you’re at the beach but missing the comfort of your home the whole time, instead of savouring the waves of the ocean, you probably don’t belong there in the first place. Therefore, instead of spending all your holidays at a beach because you think everyone should go to a beach, check in with yourself to see what shape self-care truly takes for you.

My second practical self-care tip is to combine what needs to be done with what you love. I make sure every aspect of my life is carefully curated, from the conversations I engage in to the places I visit during my free time and even the people I invite into my home.

Everything is done with intention, ensuring that my free time is filled with activities I genuinely enjoy. For example, I pair my salon visits or spa appointments with a good book or a film I’ve been meaning to watch.

Lastly, create time for what truly matters. I know my faith is vital to me as it keeps me grounded and centred. But without careful planning and some sacrifices, my Bible study sessions could easily slip through the cracks.

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I’m part of an international Bible Study Fellowship that meets between 9pm and 10pm every Tuesday (depending on whether my friends in the Global North are observing daylight savings).

Although I love these sessions and the discussions with fellow Christians from around the world, I have to sacrifice something in my schedule to make room for that hour. Self-care, therefore, might mean waking up slightly earlier or sacrificing some money. But trust me, nothing worthwhile comes easily.

What’s on your self-care to-do list?

The writer is the Research & Impact Editor, NMG ([email protected]).