Why I chose marriage at 16
A teenage mother at Mathare Children's Fund Panairobi in Nairobi on November 16, 2023.
What you need to know:
- In Tanzania, parents marry off pregnant girls who fail in exams.
- In Kenya, in areas like Turkana, Samburu and Wajir, girls as young as eight years are traded for camels, donkeys and cows.
- How early marriage happens, though, differs in context.
Early marriage is a violation of children’s rights and the United Nations appeals to all countries, especially in Africa, to end the practice.
How it happens, though, differs in context. In Tanzania, parents marry off pregnant girls who fail in exams.
In Kenya, especially in areas like Turkana, Samburu and Wajir, girls as young as eight are traded for camels, donkeys and cows.
The worst part is that they are 'sold off' to men six to seven times their age.
But what about child marriage in the slums? I speak with Malaika Khadija*, who paints a picture of circumstances that lead to child marriage:
“I’m an orphan brought up by my beloved aunt in Huruma slums, Nairobi. I thank her for raising me and my elder sister.
“She did her best within her means, but, of course, it wasn't enough. And because she wasn't my mother, I didn't expect her to meet all my needs.
“She sold second-hand clothes and food to send us to school and feed us.
“By the time I joined high school, I was tired of the tough life. I needed a good life. My peers had boyfriends and they would show off. They would mock me for being a ‘saint’. They told me I was a fool.
“But I knew the consequences of being pregnant. My aunt had warned me. I also didn't want to disrupt my education with a pregnancy.
“I wanted to be a caterer, so all I was aiming for was a good grade to join college and study catering.
“Little did I know I’d soon fall into the trap. I asked myself: Why should I suffer like this when I can enjoy life like the rest of my peers? Remember, I was only 16.
Also read: Unicef: War on child marriage far from over
“Then during the holidays, a shopkeeper in his 20s, I think he was 26 or 27, wooed me. I didn't even think twice about it. I was in.
“He would give me Sh200 every weekend when we met. That was good money for me. I saw no reason to return to school.
“I already had a man to take good care of me, what else did I want? I moved in with him and we were a couple.
“For three months, he was a good man. Then he turned violent after I became pregnant. He’d drink and return home at 2am or 3am, and beat me up for no apparent reason.
Also read: ‘Child’ and ‘marriage’ do not go together
“I was young, so no way I would ask him where he was coming from. I’d never sleep until he returned. I'd doze in the chair next to the door so that I don't miss his knock when he returns.
“I persevered throughout the pregnancy because my aunt did not want to see me anymore. She was angry with me. He even beat me up the day I went into labour. Luckily, I delivered safely and my baby girl was okay too.
Also read: We must come together to end child marriage
“I went back and things got even worse. He stopped giving me money for food and the beating increased because I refused to sleep with him. I had not healed.
“By that time, my elder sister had got married. She sent me fare and I ran away. My daughter had just turned three months.
“He does send money, but it's a mere Sh100 every two days. When you withdraw, it's just Sh90. How contemptuous can that be?
“I'm now 20 and I’d never wish to hear another girl go through a similar experience.
“I've moved on. My sister and her husband are taking care of my daughter and me. I also work at a barbershop and earn Sh200 to Sh300 daily, depending on business performance.
“I’m saving to send my daughter to school. My sister and her husband take care of everything. They have accepted me and my child as part of their family. I’d probably be on the streets with three more children.”
*Name changed for privacy and protection.
