Healing journey: Varsity student, father mend bonds broken by FGM, early marriage plot
What you need to know:
- Vionah Koyiaso’s father accepted an unthinkable marriage proposal by his son-in-law, a widower almost four times her age.
- She was to replace her elder sister who had died.
In the tapestry of life, there are folds of adversity that create chasms between loved ones.
Even so, there are still stories of redemption that offer hope and allow even the most fractured relationships to be mended.
This is the story of Vionah Koyiaso, a girl born into a polygamous family in Oloshaiki, Narok County, and her father, Surum Shani, a man whose past choices cast shadows over the innocence of his daughter.
Vionah’s life dramatically changed when her father accepted an unthinkable marriage proposal by his son-in-law, a widower almost four times her age.
She was to replace her elder sister who had died.
“I was eight years old at the time and did not even understand what was going on. My mother just called me to her hut and told me she wanted to send me to my aunt,” she narrates.
With the unwavering support of her mother, Vionah left for Osupuko Oirobi, a small village located a few kilometres away. This was her mother’s plan for her escape from an arranged marriage.
After spending an entire month at her aunt’s, she learned that her father wanted to marry her off.
“I had never met the man but had heard that he was very rich. He has a big piece of land and a lot of cattle. I understood that my family needed the money because we are nomadic pastoralists with little money,” she says as she twirls one of the beads of her embroidered dress.
She says the ornaments on her dress were beaded by her mother, who is her father’s second wife. She has 10 siblings: four brothers and six sisters. All of them had been going to school except her.
Fortunately, at her aunt’s place, she was enrolled in school. “I was brilliant at school. Although I joined late, I often topped my class in almost every exam.”
She was doing well until her father made his way to her school and caused a fracas.
“He was asking the teachers why his daughter was in school without his permission. He also told my aunt to withdraw me from school or he would kill her.”
Her aunt, however, was steadfast and stood up to him. She told him that if he wanted to take Vionah out of school, he should talk to government administrators.
Unsuccessful, her father turned his anger and frustration to Vionah’s mother, chasing her away from her matrimonial home. She went back to her parents and lived with them for two years.
Vionah says her father also became cold towards her.
“Whenever I went to visit him, I would return to my aunt's on the same day because I could tell that he was disappointed in me. I was also afraid of going home because I thought he would beat me up, though he never did that.”
It was during one of those visits that Vionah underwent the cut. She had gone to spend her Christmas holidays with her father.
“I was sleeping beside my younger sister in a hut when at around 9pm, a woman woke us up and took us to be circumcised. I did not understand what was happening.
“I could not run away because it was too dark. I had to stay with my father for one month to recover before returning to school.”
When she asked her mother what the purpose of the circumcision was, she told her it was a rite of passage that was necessary for her to transition to adulthood.
All that while, her relationship with her father was strained.
The discord even spread to the rest of the family as her stepmother also stopped communicating with her.
“Our family was divided and that broke my heart.”
The turning point in their relationship was when her father decided to bring back her mother.
Vionah says one of the conditions he had for her return was her dropping out of school.
“Of course, my mother refused and the negotiations took too long. He only agreed when she told him that she would report him to the authorities and he would be arrested if he insisted that I be taken out of school.”
Her mother's stand was in line with Section 30 of the Basic Education Act, 2013, which mandates parents and guardians to ensure their children attend school, failing which they may be fined Sh100,000 or imprisoned for one year.
Her father yielded. Nevertheless, it took six years for him to warm up to the idea of Vionah being at school.
“He began calling me from time to time to ask how I was doing and whether I was lacking anything. After I sat my KCPE exam and did well, my aunt asked him to take over my school expenses.”
He ensured Vionah was admitted to secondary school and convinced one of her cousins who was doing well to assist him pay her school fees.
After Vionah sat her KCSE exam last year at Eor Ekule Secondary School, she scored C+ and got admitted to university. This made her the first person in her family of 12 to pursue higher education.
“When I went home after finishing my exam, my father was so happy that he cried. Even when he sees me today, he still cries,” she says.
“I sat down with him after my exam and asked him why he wanted to marry me off at eight years. He cried so much that I felt bad for bringing the issue up.”
He asked her for forgiveness; Vionah forgave him. Today, her father supports her financially when he can.
“I am grateful for my journey and happy that my mother was courageous to help me flee. The man who was supposed to marry me got another wife who now has six children.”
Rescued and offered a chance for education, Vionah is now a first-year student at Kenyatta University pursuing a Bachelor of Arts.
Having defied the odds stacked against her, she educates her community to understand the importance of taking girls to school.
“I would like to thank my father for allowing me to go back home because if he did not, I would have lost a parent.
“I would like to tell the men in my community not to marry off their young girls just because they want to show off to their friends with cows and blankets.
“I also forgive my father; I love him so much,” she concludes.
Efforts to get her parents’ comments were unsuccessful. They were not open to speaking to the media.
