My story: The trauma of reporting gender-based violence
Gender-based violence doesn’t just affect the one person who is directly violated, but many others who interact with them.
What you need to know:
- In September 2021, I visited a safe house in Kilifi County where I met an eight-year-old boy who had been molested by his step-father.
- I met a 10-year-old girl in a safe house; she was recovering from a fistula corrective surgery having been badly injured by her mother’s lover, who defiled her.
- At some point, these experiences got into me and I sought counselling.
For all the years I have covered gender-based violence (GBV), 2020 and 2021 were the worst.
I visited and listened to horrifying stories of helpless women and men. I saw children as young as eight years unable to walk or relieve themselves because their private parts or orifice were raptured.
In September 2021, I visited a safe house in Kilifi County where I met an eight-year-old boy who had just undergone a corrective surgery for the fractures he suffered when his step-father molested him. The sight of the boy in indescribable pain haunts me to date.
Whenever there is a mention of GBV, my mind rolls back to that little boy. Sometimes when I look at my laptop screen I see him looking at me.
Two months later, I spoke with a 30-year-old woman who was in a cruel marriage. Her husband would do the unthinkable in the name of having sexual relations with her.
Listening to her narrate how he abused her was tortuous. We cried together during the interview even though in journalism, reporters are expected to detach themselves emotionally from the story in order to remain objective. But we are humans. It’s impossible to be unmoved in those circumstances.
When I met a 10-year-old girl I called Aisha in a safe house in Nairobi’s Eastland’s in May 2021, I couldn't hold back my tears. She was recovering from a fistula corrective surgery having been badly injured by her mother’s lover, who defiled her. She cried as I cried.
Disturbing stories
At some point, these experiences got into me. At the time, I was considering counselling, World Health Organisation and International Centre for Journalists rolled out a training for journalists on reporting of violence against children. I participated, and in one of the sessions, an international journalist shared how she manages the trauma including taking a break from the beat, exercising and practising yoga.
Exercising helped me for a while. Finally, I opted for counselling. It helped but still anytime I cover such disturbing stories, I reach out to my friend who is a counsellor.
It’s also never easy for lawyers and anti-GBV activists who rescue the victims, almost on a daily basis.
Last May, I spoke to a lawyer in Tanzania who has spent more than 20 years helping victims access justice. She told me some cases are horrifying that she excuses herself from listening to the victim, walks away, and goes home to loosen up. The session continues the following day.
In Kenya, an anti-GBV activist who rescues victims nearly every day, shared her struggle with psychological distress that she almost committed suicide.
This tells you that GBV doesn’t just affect the one person who is directly violated, but many others who interact with them, hence the need to end the violence, now.
