The professional perspective on domestic violence

At 33, Kizzie Shako spends her days collecting evidence for cases of violent crime in an effort to find justice for the hurt. You will find her at disaster scenes such as terrorist attack locations, assisting in dead body management, and helping identify bodies or their parts.

Besides such big events, Dr Shako spends her days helping victims of violence. Have you been abused by your husband or boyfriend? Dr Shako is the person who examines you and hands a report to the police. Have you been injured in a car accident?

She is the one to write up the report that will help the justice process make things right. “I am a medical practitioner, and the first and only female police surgeon in Kenya,” she says. She works for the Ministry of Health, in the Forensics and Pathology department.

“I see victims of domestic or intimate partner violence, child abuse and road traffic accidents, as well as victims, survivors and suspects of sexual violence,” she says, adding, “when I say ‘see’ I mean that I get a history of events surrounding the incident,

examine injuries, and where necessary, collect samples, and document my findings. Sometimes I take pictures of the injuries as well.”

LOVE FOR FORENSICS

Dr Shako’s love for forensics started when she was a young student, watching crime scene shows on television. “I wanted to be journalist, to travel and report first-hand, but then decided to become a police officer who would be a first responder at the

crime scene, so I decided to pursue medicine,” she says.

At medical school, the Makini School and Nairobi Academy alumnus was excited when she was introduced to the cadaver whose anatomy she would study throughout the year.

But it was upon graduation, while working at the casualty section of the Kenyatta national Hospital, that she discovered her true calling: Forensics.

“When I started out in the forensics department, I worked at the City Mortuary for about three years, conducting mainly autopsies,” she says. It wasn’t easy she admits; the working conditions were far from ideal. City Mortuary was dirty, it stank and

bodies would come in all states of decomposition. It was an achievement to coax from these cadavers the secrets of what had landed them on her cold slab of concrete. What she learnt prompted her to return to the living with cautionary tales, in order to

help them stay alive instead of succumbing to violent injuries.

COMMON CASES

Among the more common cases she sees are female victims of intimate partner violence. “In a typical day, I attend to about 20 instances of women who have been sexually or physically abused, and a handful of child abuse cases, which are so heart-rending.

There are days I have attended to 50 or more patients. Occasionally I come across a woman who did not survive the assault and it is truly sad because these are avoidable situations, to a large degree.”

She has thoughts on how women can escape, survive and avoid domestic violence. “The biggest mistake women make, that I have observed, is convincing themselves that the abuser will change his ways – that if they consult their parents, elders, church

members, chief, police,  for a ‘sit down’ – or threaten him with a P3 form – all will go back to normal and he will never hit her again. From what I have seen, if he hits you once and you stay, it’s just a matter of time before he hits you again – and the

beatings tend to become more severe with time.

“A lot of times, these beatings come with verbal abuse and threats,” she adds. “It is very common to hear the words ‘I will kill you’… or ‘I must make sure you are dead’… and from some of the injuries I have examined, (this could very well be the case).”

As a result, she has a message she would like given to all women: Get to know your partner well, before marriage, and do not overlook certain red flags that go off. Marriage is not an emergency. If you partner is obsessive, possessive and excessively jealous

to the point that you must account for your every move or hide your phone, or if you cannot be with your friends and family without being accused of being with other men, if you are verbally abused or threatened, and if he is aggressive and even pushes

you a little bit, take these as red flags. Many women ignore these signs, in the hope that their partner will change – only to realise that it gets worse once a marriage certificate is in place.

Once a domestic violence case lands on her desk, Dr Shako handles the victim with compassion, given the difficulty women face in reporting their ‘loving’ husbands to the police.

“First I tell her how proud I am of her for taking this bold step. It is very difficult to come out with this kind of information.

“I always make sure to hear them out completely, establish if they really understand what is happening to them, and many times their children, so that I can refer appropriately. You can find that a woman is in such a daze that she is out of touch with reality,

disoriented and has no idea as to what she is going to do next. Some even have intended actions that can lead them into more trouble, so I give guidance the best way I can.

“I also tell women, if you won’t leave for yourself, do it for your children. No child wants to see their parent being abused physically or verbally, or worse, sexually. You are not doing them a favour staying in a relationship that leaves them anxious, worried

about your wellbeing and stressed. There are organisations that can help – churches, family and friends.

“If you become permanently disabled or, God forbid, dead, what will happen to the children? What example are you setting for them? That they should agree to be mistreated? That’s the very message they receive subconsciously… and the cycle repeats itself.”

After seeing many cases of defilement, rape and child abuse, Dr Shako notes that there is still a distance to go regarding child and gender safety. “One day, after listening to a mother of three narrate her ordeal in an abusive relationship, in a helpless way I

would never have expected from a lady of her age, I immediately started a blog (to teach the public about their options). 

Her blog, vunjakimya.com, tackles every subject concerned with helping you keep yourself and your loved ones safe from violence, more so of an intimate nature. “I believe men and women, young and old, can learn something from the blog and can share

what they learn with others,” she says. She also hopes to open an assault centre in the future, where documentation, management and the photography of victims in cases of violence will be handled with ultimate professionalism. “I am also currently writing

a book, and writing articles for other blogs,” adds Dr Shako, who is currently studying for a Master’s degree in forensic medicine.

RISKY VENTURES

Weirdos masquerading as friends: Dr Shako remembers the case of a single mother with two daughters who invited a friend she met on Facebook for dinner at her house. Despite having a gut feeling that something about this was wrong, she proceeded

to indulge him. A few days later, the man abducted her, took her to his home and beat and raped her for 24 hours. After that, she found her way home and showered and changed, waiting to go to a hospital the next day.

Dr Shako recommends that you don’t invite strangers to your home (or visit theirs), especially if you have vulnerable children. Do your background checks on your social media friends, and always follow your gut instinct. In the event of rape, go to hospital

immediately, and do not shower or change until after you have been examined.

Careless partying: A common scenario among young women, especially college girls, is waking up in a strange place, surrounded by people they may or may not know, or even alone.

These women don’t know how long they have been there, but they can feel something has happened to their bodies. They recall they were out clubbing or at a house party … and then they blacked out.

To that end, be careful who you spend your party time with. Never leave unfinished drinks unattended, and avoid becoming intoxicated to the point where you are unable to take basic care of yourself.

Night travel: Frequently, young women are reporting that taxis and boda boda operators end up becoming their attackers. Sometimes a stranger will enter a taxi and assault a lone passenger.

Therefore, if one must use taxis or boda bodas after dark, use a vetted taxi and avoid boda bodas. Call someone ahead to inform them that you are on the way home. Let at least one person know where you are.

Take note of the vehicle registration number.

Intimate partner violence, especially in front of the children: Children carry the burden of intimate partner violence, resenting the abused partner for ‘allowing’ the abuse to occur, and living in terrifying fear of the abusive partner.

Also, should one parent end up dead or disabled from an incident, this leaves the children in harm’s way. In such cases, remember that if he hits you once, he will definitely do it again.

Once you allow physical harm to happen and accept an apology, it will not stop.  Children do not appreciate their mother being physically abused just so they can have a “good life”.

To them, it is not a ‘good life’. Children should NEVER witness their parents arguing, let alone in a physical fight. This gives them a high tolerance for abuse and as adults, end up in toxic relationships themselves.

History repeats itself. If you are in an abusive relationship, seek help. It may look hard to exit, but you can do it.