PLAIN TRUTH: Beware the Social Media Dad

We have already heard all about social media mums – those women who parent on Facebook and Twitter, taking staged pictures of their tots’ every waking moment. What you haven’t heard about is the Social Media Dad. This one is less obvious. In fact, to the average woman, he comes off as a great husband and dream father. His usage of social media is normal; he doesn’t take endless pictures of himself or his children.

He is the regular man who once in a while posts something earth-shattering about his parenting experiences. He comes off as very honest, deep, fun and very involved in his children’s lives. This man may run a blog, and once in a while he will write a heart-warming post about doing his daughter’s hair that will make a childless woman broody.  He will post a video of himself standing in front of a mirror with his seven-year-old daughter telling her to always remember how beautiful and smart she is. His observations are always profound. He will talk about how, while watching his toddler son eat fries or pee, he had an epiphany, and now he knows the answer to all of life’s problems.

Women love the Social Media Dad. His posts will prompt tens of “Awww’s” and statements like, “You are such a great dad…” Unlike the Social Media Mum whose stunts are at worst irritating, the Social Media Dad’s effect runs deep. If you are not keen, he might make you feel very unhappy with your sports-loving, lazy-around-the-house man.

Every week you follow him online, you will feel a little less satisfied with your relationship and especially your partner’s parenting skills. If your partner is a regular Kenyan man who often gets home past 8pm and likes to spend Saturday afternoon with the boys or watching football, you will start wishing that he was more and more like the Social Media Dad, or that his parenting game was better or that he was more attentive to the children, or that he was more fun for the children.

What you might not know is that the 30 minutes the Social Media Dad posted about on his blog was the only time that he spent time with his child the whole of last week. He will not blog about how he went out as soon as he had dropped his children home from the lunch he posted about and didn’t come home until the wee hours of the morning. You might be surprised to know that his wife feels like a single mother because she does all of the heavy lifting by herself.

I do not think that there is anyone who has quite figured out this parenting thing. If, however, your man shows some effort at it, give him some credit. Do not let your feelings be swayed by a deep blog post or by a perfect looking Instagram photograph. The grass really isn’t greener on the other side.