I have a positive outlook on life, but can’t find a partner...

I am this ever happy and energetic soul but I've never been in a romantic relationship. Is it that men fear an innocent me? Or is my personality too intimidating to people?

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Hello. I am 32 and I could say that I’ve never been in a romantic relationship. So, last week, a man (maybe in his 50s) came to my place of work and after 20 minutes in the waiting bay, told me out of nowhere, “Girl, I am impressed by your personality. You sure can handle any kind of client and human, even the difficult ones, but am sure no one can handle you, or maybe just one person under the sun”. I later learnt that he was my boss’ therapist and psychiatrist. Sincerely, I am one girl who has been to the lowest point of hell and still resurrected somehow, so everything in life is a blessing. I am this ever happy and energetic soul whom even my boss will do anything to keep where clients meet me first. Is it that men fear an innocent me? Or is my personality too intimidating to people?


He basically meant you are too accommodating and people with such kinds of personality are usually looking for perfection. It’s difficult to get that match because somehow, people will fault or offend you and that will hurt you so badly.

Kay Nick.

Hello, you could be easy to read in 20 minutes as being domineering, intimidating, loud or plainly forthright in response to warrant the conclusion as difficult to handle. You could also be carrying around the pain of being to the bottom of hell and resurrecting. I would advise that you seek professional emotional, therapeutic and relationship counselling.

Jackob Haywood

You may be so much reserved in nature. This may send away potential suitors. Sometimes our past experiences may affect our way of life and cost us in away. At 32 you should be settled in marriage as a lady. Time is always counting and you are no longer growing younger. You need to evaluate and repackage yourself. Above all, what is impossible to man to God is possible. Pray for God's guidance.

Rev Geoffrey Avudiko.

You’re just fine, don’t worry. Being yourself is a gem. When love finds you, it gives you new traits to help you keep it.

Ishmael Polis

Your personality is okay, it has helped you weed out the ones who can’t match you. You’re almost there, keep going.

Steve Pascal


The best way to answer you is based on the context of your story. The man who ended up being your boss, I speculate, was in a position to watch you within your workplace. I am not sure whether he engaged you prior to his comment but he went ahead and shared his observation. The narrative of a submissive woman still exists in society. Your boss saw a woman who can handle herself within the work space but instead of saying he liked your conduct at work, he complimented you using a traditional view. Hence why he implied that no one could boss you around. Whether men fear you or not, is not your problem nor should you ever adjust yourself to please others. There will be people who can take your energy and confidence. In equal measure, there shall be those that cannot. As they say 'do you' and never ever be anything else but your authentic self. Be the force that you are and be proud of it.

Maurice Matheka



Conflict with my husband began last year, 2022 when I discovered he had fathered two children out of wedlock. We have been married for over 25 years with three children, the youngest,16. I had suspected the infidelity earlier but he always denied and wondered where I was getting the nonsense from. When I finally confirmed and confronted him, his first request was that I can punish him the way I wanted but not divorce him. The reason he gave for the action was, "it began like a joke and the children were accidents".

After a long talk, I promised to forgive him on condition that he would support the children but forget the woman. Later the woman forwarded me an SMS I had sent my husband during the conflict to imply they were still together. My husband denied having forwarded the SMS to her, and I thought he had been telling lies all through. Long story short, of late he sleeps late watching movies and we rarely have sex, and if at all, I have to labour to arouse him and if he is aroused, I am still the one to do it on top. We also rarely talk. We began life from scratch and no one can claim anything we have is theirs. Are we really going to make it together?

I am unable to rub him from my heart but I don't understand what he thinks because he is usually very reserved. This is affecting our daughter who wants to begin planning her wedding. She requested the father that she would talk to us, it is now two weeks and he's not yet ready for the talk.