Most children’s birthday parties are planned with adults in mind
More parents are choosing to spend their money in a bouncy castle for their children’s birthdays.
Towards evening, more adults began to stream in, dressed like you would for a night of serious partying. Most came empty-handed...
Over the weekend, I was invited to a child’s birthday party, a boy that was turning five. I went with my youngest two, even though my second born, who is a year shy of stepping into teenage, ended up getting so bored, I have a feeling that the next time I ask her to accompany me to a birthday party, she will give me a side eye and an emphatic ‘No’.
Her elder brother long stopped accompanying me to anything. He says ‘No’ even before I tell him where I am going, and seems offended that I even thought of asking him in the first place. But that is a story for another day.
The first thing that I noticed when I got to the venue was that the adults outnumbered the children. I counted the children, and they were not more than 10, my two included. Towards evening, more adults began to stream in, dressed like you would for a night of serious partying.
Most came empty-handed, meaning no present for the birthday boy, while those who had something in their hands carried a mzinga or a six pack of their favourite drink. Obviously, they were not coming for a child’s birthday party.
At around 4pm, the host brought out the cake and the adults and small number of children present sang happy birthday to the small boy, after which pieces of the cake were passed around, an act that marked the end of the birthday party and the beginning of sherehe for the eager adults.
The host had slaughtered a goat, therefore there was nyama choma to look forward to, as well as various brands of alcohol, which the guests descended on with zeal. I would later learn that the party went on into the wee hours of the morning. Sounds familiar? I bet you have attended one of these, or hosted one yourself…
Once or twice as a younger parent, I, too, was guilty of planning my children’s birthdays with adults in mind, a factor that would transform the occasions into adult bonding sessions. I am wiser now, especially having realised that hosting adults is expensive. There is also the fact that it takes away the attention from the child, yet it should be his or her day to feel special.
With this in mind, I no longer invite anyone that has an ID to my children’s birthdays, instead, I ask parents to drop off their children and pick them up at a certain time. Sometimes, I ask my children to invite only their neighbourhood friends, a brief event that is marked by a birthday cake and a few snacks, after which the birthday ends.
Other times, I simply buy a cake to be shared with their friends in school – affordable and easy to execute, hence no stress. There was a time when children’s birthday parties in Kenya were a glaring adult affair, an excuse for parents and their friends to unwind and have a good time.
But this is gradually changing. I say this because a number of times, I have dropped off my children to birthday parties that are exclusively a children’s affair and not been offered even a glass of water. Also, nowadays, more parents are choosing to spend their money in, say, a bouncy castle for their children’s birthdays rather than spend thousands on food and drinks to feed adults. As it should be.
