What do you think about using emojis to express grief?
It took me many attempts to craft this intro as I tried to figure out a sensitive way to say what I have to say in a way that would not offend. I’m not sure whether I succeeded.
It’s about mourning with emojis. Almost every time I log on to social media and there is someone mourning a loved one with those crying and sad emojis, I feel that this belittles the sadness and the pain that should accompany death or any other form of calamity.
Picture this. A man, (or woman) announces his wife’s death on social media, “This is the saddest day of my life, I lost my best friend, mother of my children and wife of 10 years.” To underscore how broken he is, which is no doubt by the way, he finishes off with an assortment of crying and tearing emojis, those cartoonish characters that I think were meant to be used in humorous banter, but which many of us now use in place of words, which would better express emotion.
Those that read the update follow suit and express their heartfelt commiserations with their own set of crying and sad emojis, and just like that, a somber message degenerates into one big comedy. Or maybe I’m overthinking it. After all, this is the era of social media where grief, shock, outrage and other emotions are expressed differently, where what we think and feel in times of sadness and happiness is expressed with memes and emojis. And who am I to tell people how they should mourn?
That out of the way, we need to talk about those people that almost break their legs as they sprint to post the death of someone not even related to them on their social media pages. Someone who was not even their friend to begin with, even before the family makes the death public, or while the death is still a rumour.
If this person happened to die in an accident, they even go ahead to post the wreckage as well pictures of the body, never mind that the person’s family may not even be aware of the death in the first place, or if they are, they would rather not see the horrifying pictures because they only magnify their anguish. The breaker of the news then sits back in anticipation, monitoring the likes and comments. And the emojis. All this for imagined relevance and chasing the high of being the first to break the shocking news.
Social media is here to stay and has numerous benefits, such as immediacy, where we no longer have to wait for the newspaper the next day or the 9pm news to know what happened around the world, (or who died) but the fact is that it has brought out the worst in some of us. It has robbed some of humaneness, that quality of compassion and consideration for others.
And I must not forget those who post a tragedy in their lives, or the fact that they and their spouse are separated or divorced, going ahead to write lengthy paragraphs explaining why they separated and then finishing off the novel with, “Please respect our family’s privacy at this difficult time.” If there ever was bait, this is it. I doubt there is anyone who wouldn’t be tempted to weigh in on such tasty tea, which is the ultimate fodder for gossip and endless innuendo. I mean, if you want your “privacy” respected, why make your business public in the first place?
