If you have found it, don’t take it for granted, value and nurture it

Our parents taught us to pray before meals, something most of us still do.

The standard meal time prayer had two main components: thanksgiving for the meal we had before us, and a prayer for those who did not have something to eat.

As I grew older, I realised that an important component was missing from that basic prayer.

And that is praying for those who have all the food they need, but for various reasons, cannot eat it.

I have since added that component to my prayers, and if love was a plateful of food, I would advise that we pray in the same way. Here is what I mean.

BE GRATEFUL

First, those who have found love should be grateful, truly grateful. It is easy to be casual and take what we have for granted, until we lose it.

So, if you have found love, be thankful, drink deep from that well, and protect it with all you have. 

The next part of the prayer is to pray for those who are seeking love, but have not been fortunate enough to find it.

Let us face it folks, there are many who yearn, day and night, for that romantic experience we take for granted, but it remains elusive.

And now to the third category, and which is of great concern to me — the people who have the opportunity to be happy in a relationship, but are unable to enjoy that opportunity for varied reasons.

The reasons are many — from physical, medical, mental, and psychological reasons. Enter a man I will call John Kisao, a successful financial adviser in his mid-forties. His wife left him after only a year of marriage because he has erectile dysfunction.

He has not had the courage to approach any other woman, even though he has many female friends who would make good mates. Having many women hitting on him has not helped matters, some even suggesting that he might be somehow abnormal. 

Another example is that of Debra, who is psychologically unable to draw close to a man. She is 38, and although she yearns for a partner, she has turned down many suitors on the pretext that she is not ready to settle down.

Those are just two possible scenarios, but I am sure there are many other situations, some temporary and others more permanent in nature.

Some can definitely be addressed if people seek help, but unfortunately, many choose to suffer in silence.

For example, Debra’s situation emanated from watching her elder sister endure a violent relationship that left her mentally unstable for a long time.

HAPPINESS FROM WITHIN

Her sister did recover and even find true love, but Debra is yet to get over her fear of men.

Such a problem can be addressed through therapy, and even though it might take time to heal, functionality can be achieved.

The same applies to impotence and frigidity, both of which could be due to psychological pressure.

I will conclude by addressing people in the last two categories. For those whose circumstances prevent them from enjoying love in a long-term relationship, find solace in the fact that happiness comes from within us and can be achieved in many other ways.

And for those seeking love, it is probably what you yearn for most, but it should not be the pre-condition for living a happy and fulfilling life. And yes, never give up!