If you put in the work, you can have a blissful relationship

Happy couple

When it comes to relationships, one thing is clear, we are a gift to each other—and a gift in hand is better than one you expect or wished you could have.

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Sometimes that dream of an unending love relationship of fun and bliss never really comes to pass. It may end up as a disappointment for many.

However, what is true is that love and sacrifice go hand in hand. You cannot have true love without making certain sacrifices. But sacrifice may not necessarily guarantee a successful and happy relationship. There are many who make immense sacrifices in their relationships but end up disillusioned and alone.

This just reveals the vulnerability of relationships where failure is the norm. In reality, relationships are tears, joys and surprises. The failures we encounter in life have the potential of throwing baggage our way. Complaints, blame, and the desire to take revenge to become a way of life.

Living in this fallen world where disappointments and uncertainty prevail, leaves us feeling like we deserve better despite the sacrifices.

So, how do we get past these failures and disappointments and remain positive so that we can reshape the desired future for our relationships? The answer lies in looking beyond sacrifice to cultivating enduring.

When we have sacrificed and yet everything else is falling apart, we need not look at each other with eyes of judgment but hope. As much as adversity is scary, it also provides us with fertile ground for planting seeds of hope.

Allowing doubt and fear opens the door to a downward spiral that easily kills the relationship. Some acts of kindness we make can come out of a fear of being rejected or judged. Consequently, the truth behind our actions may never be known.

Many spouses have expressed regret saying, “I do everything in this home and yet all he does is sit and eat.” Instead of negativity taking root, acknowledgement of the presence of anger, fear and regret towards your partner is a great place to start. If allowed to rule your home, fear and negativity will only spell doom.

When it comes to relationships, one thing is clear, we are a gift to each other—and a gift in hand is better than one you expect or wished you could have. Our fear of the future gives us the opportunity and freedom to rethink and make better choices that change our choices and priorities in life. Restoring and rekindling your life comes in several ways:

First, despite the sacrifices, failures or successes, we need to analyse our relationships and discover what went wrong or what is missing. Taking responsibility for the mess or failures is one step in the journey of restoration.

Rising out of brokenness and disappointment calls for acknowledgement of past failures and looking to the future with hope. Mostly, either knowingly or unknowingly, we could have taken our partner for granted, made the wrong choice, or been ignorant of the shift in circumstances. Whatever the case, until we realise the need for change in course, the intended blissful times will turn into disappointments and regrets. Things don’t just fix themselves.

Secondly, we must make the choice to change our attitude and direction. This in turn is a sacrifice many find hard to make. Disappointment in one relationship can lead us to think that another one can fix everything that went wrong.

Most people have made the mistake of jumping from one relationship to another hoping to fix the problems of the past. Change comes when we make a deliberate choice to repair the broken system. Our choices and attitude will determine our destination and success.

Third, we need to re-envision the kind of life that we were meant to live. Trouble continues in the relationship when we let our failures downplay our ability to rethink and redefine our success story. Navigating your life, marriage or relationship back on track calls for re-commitment to the ideals of working relationships.

For example, beyond the sacrifices we make, what makes a great relationship? Choosing to be emotional about everything without applying reason will lead to confusion. Clutter has a way of hiding the clarity that the future holds. Hope is killed when negativity overrides reason.

For example, as we resist those who try to interest us in a romantic relationship, we need to overcome the temptation of getting stuck in generalisations. Determining your ideals and building on what is right is most likely going to yield fruit.

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