5 ways to improve the mother-daughter relationship

Good communication includes speaking up about what you want or need, and asking questions when something doesn't make sense.

Good communication includes speaking up about what you want or need, and asking questions when something doesn't make sense.

What you need to know:

  • A mother-daughter bond could be unhealthy if there is too much anger or emotional manipulation going on.
  • It is important to build a good connection and communicate openly to ensure there is understanding and respect for both parties.
  • If mothers are unwilling to forgive their daughters, the connection may not work because of resentment on both ends, or feelings of guilt and anger for both parties.

The mother-daughter relationship is an intense bond that runs deep, and it takes a lot of work to maintain. As a result, mothers have the unique opportunity to instruct their daughters about life, love, family, and everything in between. These lessons will help shape the woman her daughter becomes – for better or worse.

A strong mother-daughter connection can be gratifying. But sometimes even mothers with the best intentions struggle to connect with their daughters on an emotional level.

A dysfunctional mother-daughter relationship is one in which there is a lot of anger, emotional manipulation, and other unpleasant emotions leading to self-doubt and poor communication. Here are 5 ways you can improve your bond with your daughter.

  • Healthy communication

One of the things that can help a mother and daughter connection is having effective communication between them. Good communication includes speaking up about what you want or need, and asking questions when something doesn't make sense.

Own your side of the story, take responsibility for mistakes without making excuses, and accept when you are wrong. Finally, learn your daughter's love language, which is how she likes to receive love and affection. If your daughter feels loved, then you are building a connection with each other.

  • Listen to your daughter

Healthy communication will be achieved through good listening. Let your daughter speak first. Ask her what she thinks and how she feels, even if you disagree with it. When your daughter is speaking to you about something that bothers or upsets her, try not to interrupt.

Do not be afraid of conflict, but find a resolution in the end. For example, if your daughter is upset with something you said or did, calmly listen to her point of view and if need be, apologise.

  • Healthy boundaries

Another essential task in a mother-daughter relationship is being able to have healthy boundaries. If your mom does not respect your boundaries, respectfully speak up so that the issue does not fester and become more complex. As a mother, understand that your daughter needs her privacy.

  • Forgiveness

Forgiveness is an important part of a mother-daughter relationship. If mothers are unwilling to forgive their daughters, the connection may not work because of resentment on both ends, or feelings of guilt and anger for both parties.

Some moms struggle with guilt around their daughter's mistakes. This can build up resentment. Forgiveness is vital for both parties because it will provide room to start over. It's okay to make mistakes as long as you learn from them. That includes asking your mom for forgiveness.

  • Have some mom-daughter moments

You can decide to go on a road trip, go shopping, or plan a movie night. You can be specific about what kind of activity you want to do with each other, such as making cookies, playing games, watching movies, etc. The important thing is to have fun together without having any expectations or rules. This will give you both a chance to bond and help the relationship grow stronger.

Negative traits to look out for

In some cases, mothers do not understand their daughters. Such relationships can be improved if there is more listening and less judgment on the part of the mother. This way, it will become easier for the younger woman to learn from the older woman the issues of life.

Toxic traits

It can be hard to differentiate when a mother wants the best for you and when they are toxic. Toxicity can come in the form of being too bossy and not listening to the daughter's ideas or thoughts on life, love, families, etc.

If you are constantly living in fear of your mother, you are probably in a toxic relationship. This includes being physically afraid or emotionally threatened when around your mom.

Another way to identify toxic traits is by looking at how your mother acts around you. For example, if she cannot control her anger, it might be a good idea to speak up about the problem and figure out what's going on.

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