I cry for Mean Machine, fallen rugby giant that must not be left to die

Two weekends back, I almost pinched my eyes in disbelief when I looked at the Kenya Rugby Union Championship table.

The Championship, for those who may not be familiar with Kenyan rugby, is the second tier national league competition after the elite Kenya Cup.

Now, Mean Machine were lying at the basement of the 11-club competition.

It was not just the last position that shocked me, but the startlingly scary statistics attributed to this once proud, powerful and revered University of Nairobi rugby club.

Machine, as they have been fondly called over the years, had played five matches and lost all of them. Their points difference was a colossal -101. 

Adding salt to this injury was the ignominy of having -2 points.

Meanwhile, the leading team, SC Pirates had 23 points from five matches, same as second-placed Impala who, however, had an inferior point scored-conceded difference.

Last Saturday, I sensed the person feeding the official Kenya Cup X handle @TheKenyaCup was sharing my feelings. He/she almost sounded relieved with the tweet: “A first win of the season for Mean Machine”, as the varsity lads beat unfancied Kabarak University 12-0.

What a far cry from the Machine of yore, once the jewel of University of Nairobi sports that elicited fear and respect in their foes, pride in their multitude of supporters, especially the student community, and admiration from the rest. Indeed, there was only one Machine.

Anybody who has followed Kenya rugby over the years and the UoN alumni, especially the Mean Machine old boys, must be pained by the seemingly demise of the varsity team that seismically changed the rugby landscape in Kenya. 

A saying in the South Pacific goes like this: “Every boy born in New Zealand dreams of becoming an All Blacks and every girl born dreams of marrying one”.

Similarly, there was a time when every boy student in Kenyan high schools dreamt of joining the University of Nairobi to play for Mean Machine. I do not know about the girl student, but her love for the team was inimitable.

Wallace Waitare wrote thus on the African Rugby, June/July 1999 issue: “A mean Machine past team list is like reading a rota of the greatest players Kenyan rugby has produced. There’s the duo that are arguably among the first two choices for the distinctive accolade of best ever: Edward Rombo, who went on to pursue a professional career in rugby league and Jack Omaido, a centre of such excellence, those lucky enough to have seen him in action often shake their heads at a recollection of his magical exploits.” Beautiful.

Many of the current players may not know that Mean Machine was started in 1977 at a time when rugby, a hitherto white dominated sport, was undergoing changes as blacks started asserting themselves in the game.

As a club composed of indigenous Kenyans, Mwamba RFC, was being formed, so too was Mean Machine becoming an official outfit after existing as an informal rugby side made up of UoN students.

Machine then took the rugby scene by storm winning Kenya Cup in their inaugural season, 1977, at the expense of the traditional powerhouses then, Nondescripts, Kenya Harlequin and Impala that were invariably white dominated.

Tom Oketch, a member of the team then, recalls in African Rugby how the hype and tension in the countdown to their semi-final against Nondies captured the imagination of the town.

He says the venue was switched from UoN grounds to Lenana School for security reasons. Without missing a beat, Machine grinded Nondies there and then went on to crush Impala in the final to debunk any lingering notion that blacks could not excel in the game.

The varsity players in that victorious team cemented their names in Kenyan rugby folklore - Coutts Otolo, Kalamba Kaisi, Geoff Simiyu, Aggrey Awimbo, Dave Awimbo, Ben Mukuria, Godfrey Edebe, Tom Oketch, George Mugongo, Absolom Mutere, Dave Muraya, John Akatsa, Emmanuel Lubembe, Kadir Shapi, Cliff Mukulu et al.

Many other great players who also excelled internationally came through the Mean Machine talent yard over the years as the various varsity squads won the Kenya Cup again in 1989 and 1990, and finished runners up in 1988, 1993 and 1995.

Just to name a few, Evans Vitisia, Andrew Mwenesi, Absalom Mutere, Joe J Masiga, D. Odhiambo, Edward Obuya, Frank Aswani, Gordon Anampiu.

I could go on, Shaka Kwach, Sammy Khakame, Andrew Lopokoiyit, Paul Murunga, Tolbert Onyango, Steve Gichuki, who immortalized the club with their brilliant play and leadership. 

Machine were first relegated in 2017 after 40 years in the Kenya Cup. They bounced back up the following season but went down again in 2019 where they stayed until 2022.

And now, a season later, they are firmly at the bottom of the second division table and spluttering to stay alive.

Every effort must be made by the university, the current club management and players, and the abundant old boy network to get Machine firing on all cylinders, as they once did.

Mean Machine is a University of Nairobi treasure, a rugby treasure, even -- I dare say, a national treasure. 

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