The twenties, adulthood and pressure to achieve ‘success’

I have turned the “big 20” and, even though I have been waiting eagerly for this because it means I am finally an adult, I dread the pressure and responsibilities that comes with it.

I remember the excitement on my birthday just a few months ago. My friends and family called to wish me a happy birthday and some had me on their status with captions such as: “This is the decade where you’ll get married, have kids and build a home.”

I remember an aunt of mine calling to tell me that she expects me to get my first child by 25 because it’s the ideal age of getting “healthy babies.”

Yes, I totally agree that it’s the best age to get healthy babies but who said that’s my plan?

We also have social media that makes 20-year-olds, including myself, feel like they are failures or they are not doing enough just because they cannot match their peers’ achievements.

Just because someone else is buying a house, driving their dream car, travelling the world, having a stable family or relationship and receiving a six-figure salary by 25 doesn’t mean we all have to be like them.

Setting goals

The society has made us believe that there are timelines to achievement and it’s having every young person working on a deadline. We all seem to have forgotten that God’s timing is the best. I’ve seen young people lose their dignity trying to live beyond their means and finance fake lifestyles.

To avoid all these, I’d advice my peers to set a few goals for themselves. They can be as simple as being happy, dancing, trying out new cooking recipes, swimming among others.

I personally believe that setting a goal and working towards it one step at a time will make you achieve it. All you need is patience, consistency and discipline.

You’re also going to fail and make a lot mistakes, and that is okay. What is important is learning the lessons. Don’t ever be pressured to have it all figured out.

Remember, on social media, people only post their successes and hide their struggles and failures. Lastly, don’t let society’s definitions of success be your yardstick of achievement.

Prudence, 20, studies at the Cooperative University of Kenya.

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