Raphael Tuju: My mum’s co-wife breastfed me

In bereavement, very few people stop the flow of tears to count their blessings. 

And Jubilee Secretary-General Raphael Tuju, who is mourning the death of family matriarch Mama Mary Ogola Odiyo Tuju, is one of them.

“It is a mourning and a celebration at the same time, such a contradiction of life. One needs the wisdom and insight to deal with it,” he said in an interview with the Nation at the weekend.

Hard as it may be, Mr Tuju is still a lucky man. Courtesy of his mother, the love he received as a baby brought down walls and neutralised the toxicity of polygamy.

“My step-mother, I mean mama’s co-wife breastfed me. It happened that my mother became unwell for some time. Her co-wife had unfortunately lost a baby and that meant she still her milk on her breast. She agreed to feed me for some time,” he recalled.

The breast milk would later turn out to be the tie that bound the politician-cum-businessman and his step-mother.

“She is the one I consult at home. She even led me to the Anglican Church I attend today. She was the first one I called when mum passed on,” he said.

In a moving tribute, the CS attributed his business acumen to the late mother as he accompanied her to sell wares in the market as early as when he was nine.

“She taught me coping mechanism. She taught me wealth creation at a tender age. She never depended on anyone,” he said.

Survived plane crash

When Mr Tuju survived a plane crash in Busia in 2003, a mishap that rocked their trip to the homecoming party of Vice President Moody Awori, Mama Mary reminded him that perhaps the gods were communicating their displeasure at the fact that he never went to the seminary to become a priest.

“Since she had been losing children at a tender age, she must have made a covenant with the deity that she would give me up to church to serve. I didn’t agree with that route. Her mind went back to that whenever a misfortune befell me,” the minister said.

Born 87 years ago, Mama Mary was orphaned at the age five and her son links her closeness to God to the many blessings she received.

“Not understanding the meaning of death she would at times sit by the graveside of her mother in anticipation that her mother would return in the way mothers of other children would be returning from the market,” he said.

“She did not understand what death meant then as a baby. She was therefore a traumatized child and only survived by the grace of God and the kindness of uncles, aunts and other relatives. She had no biological brother, sister, father or mother as she grew up.”

But the woman was almost lynched for supporting President Mwai Kibaki in 2007 at a time the region was solidly behind Mr Odinga. 

In 2013, the village assigned her, the driver and a relative the three votes Mr Kenyatta got in the local polling station, not making it any easier for them again.

The CS recalls that being related to Mama Ida, Mr Odinga’s wife, his mother had to wait for the crowds to subside in 2015 to go and condole with the family after the death of Fidel Odinga. 

She was somewhat considered a ‘traitor’ yet the son explains that the mum supported whichever the political side the minister was in.

Succumbed to old-age

“We were close with her. My dad complained on many occasions that I only listened to my mother. After dad died, I was the only one she allowed to call her by her pet names,” the CS reminisced. 

While she supported the son in politics, she never lost an opportunity to advise him on how to relate with Mr Odinga whom they have not been in the same camp in the last three General Election.

“She always reminded me that I can differ with Raila in politics but I must never disrespect him as he is my uncle. My mum was born in Sakwa.”

Mr Tuju, at the same time, warned the public against falling prey to unscrupulous individuals who may be out there collecting money in the name of aiding the funeral. 

His friends and associates were swindled Sh2 million when his father died in 2015.

“I won’t be surprised if crafty individuals are already cashing in on my mother’s death. In 2015 many of my friends were duped into contributing to parody M-Pesa accounts that we only learnt of later. We urge Kenyans to ignore such pleas,” he stated.

The CS says that while his position in the society allows him the capacity to manage the funeral expenses, there is a noble way to accommodate those willing to participate. 

Mama Mary, who had recovered from Covid-19, succumbed to old-age related complications majorly osteoporosis — a medical condition in which the bones become brittle and fragile from loss of tissue. 

“In her adult life she took care of many, many orphans because of her own life experience. In tribute to her resilience in her beginnings and a life committed to helping orphans, the Tuju family request that those who mourn with us do not send flowers but instead make any contribution to a memorial fund that will pay for education of orphaned girls in distress. This has been set up under the Tree Lane Foundation,” he said.

[email protected]