Make no mistake, nothing justifies femicide, nothing!

My editor’s note last week was titled ‘On femicide, stop shaming victims and start protecting’.

The piece elicited quite some emotive responses, but one that stood out for me was from a young man (I assume so because he is a university student).

He sought forgiveness before making his statement. Here’s an excerpt:

“Please forgive me if you might detect any sign of misogyny or GBV per se.

"I'm not intending to be rude or brutal, but I'm here to write what the media and feminists have not been addressing.

"Women should be educated to understand that their lives matter more than money.”

The last statement irked me, honestly. That is the energy I have seen on social media, especially in the last few weeks.

I understood this man’s desire to protect women, but his approach…No! Responsibility lies solely with perpetrators of femicide.

The problem is not women loving money, but violent individuals who are okay with harming others.

Victim-blaming, a common narrative on social media, only removes accountability from abusers and enables these crimes.

It is disempowering when women are portrayed as passive victims who need protection from their own choices.

Man or woman, we are all moral agents capable of making decisions, good and bad. What women need is freedom, justice and compassion.

Young women need to be offered hope that in their lifetime, both the streets and the home will be safe for them.

If we blame them or stay silent, we only strengthen the status quo.

It is for this reason that women and men, in their hundreds, held anti-femicide marches across the country last weekend.

High fives to the men who joined. Putting such people down and branding them feminists with the misconception that feminism is a movement for women, by women, and made up of women to oppose men, is wrong.

Feminism doesn’t mean “let’s bash men”. In truth, it should benefit us all because it helps to dismantle oppression.

Women deserve equity. Men deserve equity. Both genders deserve equity, equally.

Although anti-feminists think Saturday protests were a waste of time, I know they make a difference.

Remember how the late Prof Wangari Maathai and a group of women protested and foiled a government attempt to construct a skyscraper in Nairobi’s Uhuru Park? 

Many other protests have triggered real, tangible change.

While we might assume that the painful, inching progress of feminist victories is a one-directional line on the graph towards gender equality, recent happenings in the country reveal that these wins could be reversed. 

In Afghanistan, for example, women and girls now have fewer rights than their mothers and grandmothers did.

The Taliban have ensured they can’t go to school, hold state jobs or move around unaccompanied by a male guardian, among other tough laws.

Feminism is a good thing. It advocates women's rights and empowerment by challenging societal norms, dismantling gender stereotypes, and fostering an inclusive environment.

I am, however, fully alive to the fact that some people blindly adhere to feminism. While its goals are noble, pursuing them blindly can lead us astray. We must engage in thoughtful critique and self-reflection, even of causes we care deeply about.

It is crucial to engage with it thoughtfully and advocate genuine equality rather than mere conformity. Critical engagement, in this case, fosters constructive dialogue.

Let’s keep seeking justice gently but firmly. We need constructive critics and dreamers alike on this journey.

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