Kamala Harris’s campaign experience a grim reminder of weaponisation of motherhood

Motherhood carries a troubling “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” dynamic that keeps women perpetually on the defensive when the topic comes up. Women's reproductive choices are often relentlessly scrutinised and policed, largely because society has long tied a woman's worth to her ability to bear children.

Tell me why, for example, the first lady of Kenya has the word “Mama” prefixed to her name when it’s not an official title?  It’s a sign of respect, some of you may say, but is she only deserving of respect because of the children she’s had?

Childless

At 40, I’m surrounded by female friends who are mothers, those trying to conceive, and those who are childless—whether by choice or circumstance. Trust me, none of us has it easy in a world that insists on using motherhood as the ultimate measure of womanhood.

As a mother of one, I’m constantly bombarded with questions about when I’ll provide my daughter with a sibling. My friends who struggle with fertility, or have chosen not to have children, endure the same if not higher level of judgment. Another friend, who opted for adoption, faces endless queries about why she doesn’t have her own children.

Then there’s my stepmother, who, despite having no biological children of her own, cared for my sister and me as if we were her own. Yet, she, too, faced judgment for not being a “natural” mother. I think of Kamala Harris, a stepmum of two, and the vitriol directed at her because she is childless.

One social media user boldly claimed that the “simple, under-discussed” reason she shouldn’t be president is because she has “no children.” JD Vance, the Republican vice-presidential nominee, once referred to her as a “childless cat lady.”

Patriarchy

The implication here is clear: a woman’s worth, and even her right to lead, is measured by her ability to bear children. To suggest that women like Kamala, who are childless for any reason, have no claim to leadership or even womanhood, is to bow to the cruellest whims of patriarchy.

I draw hope and inspiration from Kenyan Member of Parliament Millie Odhiambo, whose childlessness has been used to attack her politically, but she refuses to be defined by that, and has in the process of speaking up, inspired many women who are undergoing silent battles of their own. 

Motherhood should be celebrated, not weaponised. I hope Kamala’s eventual rise to the presidency will serve as a powerful reminder that motherhood has nothing to do with leadership, nor should it be the measure of a woman’s worth.

The writer comments on social and gender topics (@FaithOneya; [email protected]).