How patriarchy hurts men

Kuria elders sign a deal to support the fight against FGM in Migori County. In some communities, men prefer women who have undergone FGM as they consider them to be mature and more pleasing sexually.


Photo credit: File | Nation Media Group

What you need to know:

  • Historians trace the word patriarchy to the Greek compound word patriarkhēs.
  • It is composed of patria meaning lineage, patēr for father and arkhē, which refers to domination.
  • In literal terms, patriarkhēs means a father dominating a lineage.

Historians trace the word patriarchy to the Greek compound word patriarkhēs.

It is composed of patria meaning lineage, patēr forfather and arkhē, which refers to domination.

In literal terms, patriarkhēs meansa father dominating a lineage.

As documented byanthropologists and sociologists, the term is said to have been historically used to describe autocratic rule by man as the head of the family. 

But from the late 20th century, feminists used it to refer to social systems in which power rests in the hands of men.

The theory that patriarchy originated from early agriculture in the 8000-3000 BC is widely disputed, especially considering that anthropologists have identified at least 160 existing matrilineal societies across the Americas, Africa and Asia.

The argument is that they used their physical strength to yield a surplus produce and keep cattle, hence deriving their superiority from the huge wealth they had over women

In the 1970s, for example, banks in Kenya had policies that would not allow unmarried or married women to open bank accounts without the authority of a male member of the family or husband.

Further, the few who had accounts could not secure loans without a male guarantor.

While this superiority is prevalent in modern society, what seems not to be clear to men is that as a matter of fact, patriarchy hurts them.

Studies have found that in some communities, men prefer women who have undergone female genital mutilation (FGM) as they consider them to be mature and more pleasing sexually.

However, a study on male complications of FGM published in Social Science & Medicine journal established that men do not even enjoy sex with wives who have been mutilated.

The men interviewed said they suffered difficulties in penetration, wounds or infections on the penis as well as psychological problems.

Gender-based violence (GBV), too, is a manifestation of dominion over women. Data clearly shows more men than women are agents of the vice. From January to June 2021, a total of 10,997 cases of GBV against women were captured in the Kenya Health Information System, compared to 717 for men.

If arrested and successfully convicted, it means the number of men going to prison for flexing their patriarchal muscles is 15 times more than that of women. Economically, that’s a huge loss of active labour.

In the 2022 General Election, a husband literally voted on behalf of his wife at Embakasi Girls Secondary School polling station in Embakasi South, Nairobi.

That’s not all. Following the 2017 elections, Carter Center, which led an election observation mission in Kenya, held consultations with women from eight counties, exploring challenges hindering their political participation.

The counties were Nyeri, Narok, Kisumu, Bungoma, Baringo, Kitui, Garissa, and Lamu. The women reported that in some cases, husbands dictate whom they should support, hence influencing them to vote for a male candidate, even if a woman is her preferred candidate.

Those in Narok said that in cases of women with zero education, their husbands intimidated them to support specific candidates. Other times, “the husbands decide who will assist us in the voting booth, thus ensuring we vote according to their wishes.”

When the men’s preferred candidates fail to honour their promises, they blame themselves for electing selfish leaders. Yet, perhaps, they would not be in the same situation if they allowed their wives to vote independently.