Guys, not every girl wants to be your side chick
On Saturday evening, I made the mistake of engaging in a conversation with my seatmate in the vehicle I was travelling in
What you need to know:
- I was on the verge of checking into a hotel and postponed travel to the next morning when one PSV suddenly showed up.
- The guy who came into the vehicle right after and sat next to me was more familiar with the route and he seemed to be in the mood to talk.
On Saturday evening, I made the mistake of engaging in a conversation with my seatmate in the vehicle I was travelling in.
It was late at night, about 9pm. The route I was travelling on, which is not a route I use often, had only one public service vehicle left.
I was on the verge of checking into a hotel and postponed travel to the next morning when one PSV suddenly showed up.
The guy who came into the vehicle right after and sat next to me was more familiar with the route and he seemed to be in the mood to talk.
“We really got lucky today. Hii ndio gari ya mwisho,” he said, confirming that it was indeed the last vehicle on that route that day.
“I have also been told that. I am so happy I got a seat in the vehicle,” I said.
The vehicle was filling up quickly and I knew we would be on our way in no time.
It was dark inside. I couldn’t see the face of the person I was speaking to and wasn’t sure if a protracted conversation with a total stranger in the middle of the night was the wisest thing for me to do in my life.
But because I am teaching myself to be more conversational in spaces where I usually am not, I soldiered on. By this time, the vehicle was full and we had left the station.
The neighbour continued talking. For the next 10 minutes, the man narrated to me his whole life history – his career journey, the big position he holds in a certain media house, this ‘big fish’ he was meeting in Nairobi on Monday (I would have mentioned the name of the ‘big fish’ but maybe the man lied, lol!) and many things.
I was concerned and thought he shouldn’t be divulging such private details to someone he was meeting for the first time. In case you have forgotten, the vehicle was dark and so technically, the same way I didn’t know what he looked like is the same way he did not know what I looked like.
When I told my two childhood friends, Josie and Debbie, this story, they told me the man was working hard to impress me by mentioning all those places he has been, and all the promotions he has received since he started working.
Then it suddenly made sense to me why this total stranger had a lot to say about himself. The man sounded like he was pitching business, and competing against an invisible opponent.
At some point during the trip, he called his wife and spoke to his children. After the call, he spent about five minutes telling me about his children and their talents. You know those parents who swear their one-year-old is so tech-savvy, they easily crack phone passwords? Yes, such is the man I was saddled with during my 40-minute ride.
As I got close to my destination, the guy asked for my number. I obliged because we work in the same industry. Exchanging contacts was a great way to network, professionally.
At close to 11pm that night, I received a message from this man, informing me that he had arrived safely and wished me a goodnight, plus other details I will leave out because this is a family newspaper.
Ignore message
I ignored the message. The following night, at about the same time, this man texted me again. He had the whole day to text whatever he’d have wanted to text me, right? But no, the man waited until it was close to 11pm to text me.
As usual, I ignored it. One because he is a married man, and if I was married, I would not be too comfortable if my husband texted a random girl he met on a night trip, about unclear things in the middle of the night.
Two, I ignored because besides professionally, or about things that are sound (not hapless goodnight messages), there was no reason I would be replying to texts from this man at 11pm.
I know many conversations going round on social media – about girls being okay with ‘chatting up’ married men. But guys, do not believe everything you hear or read; not every girl out here is willing to play the role of death in your marriage.
The writer is the Research & Impact Editor, NMG ([email protected]).
