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Why young bachelors are finding comfort in ‘mama fua’

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Woman Washes clothes. For some men, the relationship with a mama fua goes beyond just household chores.

Photo credit: Pool

In recent years, a growing number of young Kenyan bachelors have found a surprising alternative to the responsibilities traditionally associated with marriage: hiring a cleaning lady, commonly known as a mama fua. But is it the normal mama fua?

This trend has shifted expectations for marriage among single men, who are increasingly questioning the need to marry early when they can simply pay a mama fua to handle all household chores. 

These mama fuas no longer just clean the house; they know where salt or sugar will run out, the kind of soap that the man is using to shower and when to buy it. They iron, cook and plan his meals.

Many bachelors have expressed finding comfort and peace in this arrangement. They say they appreciate that this mama fua only requires an agreed payment, unlike girlfriends who may expect more financial support without taking on similar responsibilities, such as cleaning and cooking.

Enock Bett, the managing director and communications consultant at Bradcom Consulting, shared his experience on social media.

“I promoted my mama fua to start cooking for me because she had done an excellent job with cleaning. I thought this could help her earn a bit more,” he tweeted. 

However, he noticed some unexpected behaviour, like her calling him at 6pm to check if he had arrived home. 

“I don’t understand why she needs to call and ask if I’m home, especially since I can come and leave as I please,” Enock explained.

Enock’s experience with mama fuas began when he first started working.

“When you don’t have a source of income, it’s easier to do many things by yourself, since you do not have a budget. So, when I started working, I turned to these people for cleaning assistance,” he said.

He noted that even with a washing machine, one still needs a cleaning lady to tidy up the house.

Enock has gone through more than 20 cleaning ladies due to frequent movement, which necessitates regular changes. 

He detailed how his current mama fua took over all household duties after he saw her doing an excellent job. 

Living in a two-bedroom unit, with one bedroom serving as an office, Enock found it convenient to have someone take care of all the chores.

Mama fuas have become an essential part of many bachelors’ lives. They not only clean but also stock fridges, manage food supplies, and cater to special dietary needs. 

Enock says that he initially paid his mama fua Sh6,000 monthly for twice-a-week services. 

He then adjusted this to a flexible arrangement ranging from Sh12,000 to Sh18,000, depending on the workload each month.

“I was tired of coming home to a clean house but having nothing to eat,” he says, explaining why he upgraded her pay to include cooking.

Cohen Nyaori, a bachelor who has a corporate job in Nairobi, has a similar arrangement. 

He pays his cleaning lady Sh1,200 weekly to work twice a week.

“She handles cleaning, laundry, shoes, utensils, and curtains,” Cohen says.

He says he appreciates the convenience and the reduction of drama with the opposite gender, often associated with household duties. 

A majority of girlfriends, men say, do not cook or even clean, saying they cannot play wife and they are not yet so.

For some men, the relationship with a mama fua goes beyond just household chores.

Brian Odhiambo, a businessman in Nairobi, has employed his mama fua for three years. He considers her an integral part of his family. 

While he takes care of the cooking due to specific dietary needs, he trusts her with general cleaning duties.

Brian, 27, reflects on future marriage, noting that if he marries a career-oriented woman, he would not expect her to take on as much household responsibility as his mama fua does.

However, he adds, “I am not looking to marry a slave. I want someone who chooses to do household chores willingly.”

Brian’s strong bond with his mama fua has led him to plan for her continued employment, even if he moves to a new location.

“I am willing to go the extra mile of even educating her children because she became family,” he says. 

He trusts her implicitly, leaving her with his spare house key and full responsibility whenever he travels.

However, not all bachelors are entirely comfortable with this arrangement.

Hillary Richard, a car dealer, prefers to clean his house himself and only hires a mama fua for laundry.

“I expect my wife to do better and take care of our home wholeheartedly because it’s our shared space,” he says, emphasising that a wife’s role in maintaining the home goes beyond what a paid cleaner can offer.

“Unlike many bachelors, I don’t allow the cleaning lady around when I am not home. She only comes over on weekends,” Richard says.

While the convenience of a mama fua has made some bachelors reconsider rushing into marriage, it also highlights the evolving dynamics of household responsibilities and relationships in modern Kenya societies. As these men navigate their paths, the role of a mama fua continues to be a significant yet complex part of their lives.