Relax, that’s not urine on your bed

After failing to convince his wife to sleep with him, John brought his case to the Sexology Clinic. They had been off sex for seven months. Mary had moved to a separate bedroom to avoid intimate moments.

“Sad! I can’t believe that I am losing my young family. I need urgent help,” said John as the couple settled into their seats in the consultation room.

John, 28, was a technology guru running his own business and the wife a 27-year-old fashion designer. The couple had been married for a year and had a three-month-old baby. Their current troubles were a culmination of experiences that started with their first sexual encounter.  “I lose control of my bladder during sex and I’ve wet the bed several times. It’s disgusting, so I decided to keep off for the sake of my dignity,” Mary interjected.

Orgasm

John shook his head vigorously in disagreement. He explained that what Mary thought was urine was not. On further interrogation, I realised that Mary got a gush of fluid at the peak of orgasm. The gush was so much that it left the bed wet.  “We have to air the mattress and beddings for a whole day after,” she told me. “Our neighbours are wondering what is happening to us every time we air our beddings. It is very embarrassing.”

I examined Mary. I also did a number of tests on her. I wanted to be sure she did not suffer from urinary incontinence, a condition that can make urine leak.

Squirting

I also wanted to be sure that she did not have a fistula, an opening between her vagina and the urine system. This opening leads to urine leakage. All the examinations and tests yielded no abnormal result. I concluded, like John, that Mary had excessive release of fluid. This is also called female ejaculation or squirting.

But Mary would hear none of it. She believed that she was abnormal. I had to find a more objective way of finding out if my observation was right.

I asked the couple to collect some of the fluid for laboratory testing, which they did. Laboratory testing of the fluid confirmed that it was not urine but it had a typical chemical composition of female fluid.

Female ejaculation, just like the male one, comes when a woman has reached the peak of her excitement. It can be quite a lot and lead to wetting of beddings and mattress. Not all women, however, experience it irrespective of how exciting the experience may be.

“Is it abnormal? Do I need treatment? I cannot live with it,” said Mary, who was getting emotional and anxious.

Understanding the response of the female organs to sexual excitement is important in understanding female ejaculation.

Other than the clitoris, that is the most sensitive organ, there is the G-spot that is important in maintaining orgasm. The G-spot is a small, spongy organ located on the front wall of the vagina. Just like the clitoris, it swells up with blood and other fluids at the height of orgasm. When a woman is stimulated to climax, it causes orgasm and squirting.

Fluid

The difference between the G-spot and the clitoris is that the G-spot has a gland that produces fluid. This fluid passes into the urethra, the channel through which urine also passes, and is poured out at the peak of orgasm. Just like in a man’s case, the woman has no control over it.

“Will I always wet the bed,” Mary asked frowning. “I think my decision to stop sleeping with my husband all together to avoid this embarrassment is the right one.”

Women who squirt are actually envied by others and should consider themselves lucky. Some women have to even endure dry sex due to poor lubrication. Although some men may feel uncomfortable with too much secretion, generally most are happy with it.

“I actually feel good when it happens. I feel lucky to be part of the experience. I wish my wife could trust me on this,” said John, who was now looking at his wife.

Change bed sheets

One thing is that there is always a price to pay for these natural gifts. The bedroom for a woman who squirts a lot has to be different from that of others who don’t. It is advisable to use a mackintosh on the bed and to change bed sheets every time they get wet.

Mary grudgingly accepted to resume sex, not fully convinced that she was lucky to be experiencing what most women desire but never get the chance to.

For John, it was a mission accomplished. He was happy that they were back on their marital bed.