Plain Truth: Forget butterflies, here’s what Mr. Right should make you feel

Have you been holding out for the ‘butterflies? You know, going on dates, meeting new men but never throwing in all your cards because no one has made you feel that butterfly feeling in the tummy? If this is you, you’ve been going about dating the wrong way.
I get where you are coming from. The world is competitive. With so many movers and shakers, one can’t afford to settle for mediocrity. No one wants an average house, job and especially not a love life. We all want the very best. Nothing less than the butterflies.
Not everyone gets to experience that passionate, obsessive, consuming love. Those who have been lucky to experience it often mistake it to mean that a relationship like this can sail through anything. The plain truth is that often; the opposite is true. Here is why;
First, while the butterfly feeling is rare and pleasant, it can blind you to red flags in the relationship. You might be worried about a man’s temper, about how he only lives in the moment or even his string of baby mommas, but when you feel sparks every time he glances at you, these traits in him can seem inconsequential– for the moment.

Short-lived 

The other thing that no one tells a woman who is riding on a wave of hot passion is that the butterfly feeling doesn’t last. There is in fact some Science behind it. When you see a man with whom you have a strong physical attraction, the body goes into a fight or flight response.  
The brain sends signals to the adrenal glands which in turn release adrenaline. Increased adrenaline levels in the body trigger an increased heart rate which lead to an increased blood flow in to the muscles. More blood in the muscles mean less blood in the organs including the stomach. This is what gives that fluttery feeling. If you pay attention, you will also notice that you will feel patched in the mouth and your hands may shake. In other words, DANGER. 
Your heart will miss a beat every time he walks into a room and thoughts of him will consume your every waking moment, for a while. When the honey moon ends and the commitment phase of the relationship begins, there will be no more butterflies. In place of the flames, you will be left with the glaring faults of the man that you have chosen to be with. How you feel about them from here on is a conscious daily choice. 

Sometimes it’s a warning

If you have been with a man long enough to be able to make a list of all his annoying habits, but being with him still makes you feel as if you are standing on the edge of a cliff, that is not a good sign. It is in fact a warning for you to run. If you are still feeling anxious around him two years in, the butterflies you are feeling in your belly are not attraction, or love, they represent anxiety. 
Chances are that you got with a man you didn’t trust or a man you thought was way out of your league and now you are constantly afraid of losing him. That is anxiety and uncertainty. 
There are women who believe that it is not love until they meet a man who makes them feel butterflies in their stomach. Until his presence has the effect of fading away all her problems. And so they hold out and wait for a man that will make them feel this way. 

Good partner

The truth is that a man’s ability to give you that fireworks feeling doesn’t make him a good partner, in fact, that feeling may distract you from seeing a man’s unpleasant qualities until you are in too deep. More important, not everyone who gives you butterflies should be given a chance.
Mr. Right might not actually give you butterflies. He may be the nice guy you grudgingly go on a first date with.  Who you don’t quite feel the electricity with on this date but who you want to see again because he is interesting and funny. Mr. Right could be the man that slowly grows on you.

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