Lessons from my mother

Chichi Seii, performing artiste, producer and set designer. Chichi is a mother of one girl aged five years, five months

Saturday Magazine: What are the memories of your relationship with your mother while growing up?

Chichi: When I was younger, Mum was a total disciplinarian; we were five children and so she ran a tight ship.

Discipline and hard work were way up on the list and we were not given much choice. When I got to my older teens she was more liberal, flexible, and willing to negotiate. Now in my older years, she is a super cool friend, adviser and tea drinking buddy (we can finish a whole thermos together).

SM: How would you describe yourself as a mother?

Chichi: Totally involved.

SM: Which are the most important motherhood lessons learnt from your mother?

Chichi: First, that a mother must also find her place as a human, an individual, a person with a passion or calling, and that no amount of children or mothering will fill this space; a fulfilled mother means a happy family.

So today I have not thrown out my passion for the arts for motherhood (especially my career as an artiste that is still not well understood or respected). My daughter continues to learn that what mama does is important.

I am lucky she can get involved or have an understanding of my career by sometimes being on set as I shoot (she recently made a guest appearance on one of my shows) or when she watches my music video or hears my recorded music. So she will grow up to know that what I do, and that what a mother chooses to do is worthwhile and should be respected and supported.

Second, I learnt that a close and ever growing relationship with God is what will take one through the valleys and guide one to the right path.

SM: Your thoughts on motherhood?

Chichi: Giving birth and raising a child are two very different things; the latter can be a fabulous ride with many joyous peaks in between the troublesome lows. Motherhood doesn’t come with a defined look. Each woman is different and one shouldn’t be forced into the “mathe” box in the name of fitting in.

SM: Have you experienced pressure to change after becoming a mother?

Chichi: I have gotten piercing looks and snide remarks from people who feel that one has to change who they are once they become mothers, that a mother should portray herself in a particular way.

Giving in to pressure to conform into dressing in a certain way isn’t a measure of how good a mother one is.

(Chichi’s mother , Amb. Tabitha Seii, is a diplomat and a politician)