Does alcohol really make you better in bed?

“It is disappointing to say the least,” she lamented. “Foreplay goes on and the moment you are ready to proceed to the next level his erection is gone or he has prematurely ejaculated.”

My detailed medical history, physical examination and laboratory tests on Joshua yielded no diagnosis of why he was experiencing sexual failure. Their relationship was also not strained so strife could not be the cause. An assessment of Joshua’s stress levels yielded no clue either.

I was nearly giving up on the case when Mary let the cat out of the bag. She revealed that Joshua had instructed her not to talk about his alcohol problems. Incidentally, Joshua had been trying to stop drinking unsuccessfully. He would quit for a week or two only to backslide.

“The last time I tried quitting unsuccessfully, I decided that instead of leaving the bottle altogether, I will just reduce my intake to safe levels,” Joshua explained.

Mary shook her head in disagreement. She said Joshua could not do without taking alcohol every day. An argument ensued on whether unsafe levels of alcohol meant three beers or five beers a day. I intervened to explain my final diagnosis of Joshua’s condition.
When one tries to stop taking alcohol but relapses, it means there is a compulsive tendency to take alcohol, which partly defines alcoholism. It is also difficult to define what safe amounts of alcohol are, especially if one takes alcohol daily or for more than half of the week. If the urge to take alcohol is a weakness that you cannot control, you might have alcoholism.

Alcohol changes the functioning of the body, destroying nerves and altering hormone levels, and this is a major cause of sexual problems. The longer one has been on alcohol, the worse the effects. Amounts taken every time a drinking binge occurs also matter, and the higher the amounts the worse the outcome.

“I have reduced my alcohol intake markedly and I do not understand why this has now become the main topic of discussion today,” Joshua protested. He threatened to walk out of the room, making me pause. The two had an exchange with Mary threatening to walk out of the marriage if Joshua did not cooperate.

Alcohol affects sexual function in both men and women. Most male alcoholics suffer erection problems. Premature ejaculation is also common. Because the alcohol affects hormones, their sexual desire also diminishes. It is important to note that in the early stages of alcohol intake most men may feel that alcohol is good for relationship building and sex. This is because alcohol lowers inhibition and gives one courage to seduce a woman. Before it knocks out your erection, alcohol has the ability to prolong sex and delay ejaculation so some men may find it good for long plays. These effects are, however, short lived. 

“That is rather paradoxical. So it leads to long plays then it causes premature ejaculation?” Joshua asked sarcastically.

Women are not spared either when it comes to negative effects of alcohol. Most struggle to get sexual excitement. This means that they do not adequately lubricate. The result is painful sex. Consequently, alcoholic women rarely reach orgasm.

“Ok, to make things clear I do not drink so let us focus on how we can help Joshua,” Mary interjected. Joshua appeared uneasy, constantly looking at his watch and phone messages.

“Well, the solution is as clear to you as it is to me,” I said and went ahead to discuss strategies of quitting alcohol to reverse the effects it was already having on Joshua’s health. As I prescribed medicine to support sexual function for the time being, it was important that Joshua takes personal responsibility and commits to getting a solution to the drinking problem. 

Going into rehab for a few weeks, dropping friends and gatherings associated with binge drinking, finding alternative leisure activities among others was important. The couple promised to go and discuss further and to come back to the clinic with a way forward. That was the last time I met them. It has been a year now.