Confronting the ghost of sexual assault

On August 16, 2018, the Queen of Soul, Aretha Franklin, died aged 76. For 62 years, she had revolutionised music and immersed herself in women’s and civil rights. She had made her mark in the world.

There was no doubt that she deserved top honours in her final send off. But what occurred during her funeral service on August 31 betrayed the same ideals that Ms. Franklin had fought against.

Everything had appeared to go on well at her funeral until pop star Arianna Grande took to the stage with a rendition of Ms Franklin’s signature tune, "You Make Me Feel Like A Natural Woman". Then things went south.

The first shots of criticism came from netizens who felt that the 25-year-old had worn a skimpy and sexually inviting dress for the function. ‘Who let Arianna Grande on stage in a mini dress? I can’t believe she came in a black church for a black funeral dressed like this!’ The criticism roared. Then the focus turned to Bill Clinton who was seated a few steps from Ms Grande. His intent stare followed her movements up and down in a manner that was largely ruled as inappropriate.

Ironically, the former US President has been accused of sexual assault, abuse and misbehaviour, on top of the affair he had with one of his employees between 1995 and 1997 while serving as president.

TIP OF THE ICEBERG

But this was just the tip of the iceberg. Ms. Grande was approached by Bishop Charles H. Ellis III immediately after her performance. The thrilled Bishop wrapped his arms around her as if to congratulate her for the performance.

Then he openly touched and squeezed her left breast. He later issued an apology saying that it was not his intention to touch the singer’s breast. “Maybe I crossed the border, maybe I was too friendly or familiar,” he said.

All this was happening at the funeral of one of the most phenomenal black women to have ever lived. The incident has gone on to become a constant reminder to women that there is no sacred place where they cannot be sexually victimised.

But this incident is only one among the rising cases and reports of sexual abuse against women around the world. Currently, in the US, Judge Brett Kavanaugh has been facing accusations of sexual assault after two women went public following his nomination to the Supreme Court.

In the first case of sexual assault, which took place in the 1980s, Kavanaugh was at a high school drinking party which Ms Christine Blasey from a nearby high school was also attending.

While in a room with her, an intoxicated Kavanaugh and another male teen turned up the music and covered Ms. Blasey’ mouth with their hands to stop her from screaming. Then Kavanaugh attempted to force himself on her. She pushed and wriggled her way out. In his defence, Kavanaugh has said that he did not sexually harass Ms Blasey because he was a virgin throughout his high school years when the incident is said to have happened.

WIDELY DISMISSED

In the second case, the alleged sexual assault by Kavanaugh on Ms. Deborah Ramirez is being widely dismissed because apparently, Ms Ramirez was drunk when Kavanaugh reportedly assaulted her.

Unlike what many women are often led to assume, sexual assault does not only include genital penetration.

In Kenya, apart from rape and defilement, the Sexual Offenses Act of 2006 lists unwelcome sexual advances, groping, stripping, and indecent sexual oriented acts as amounting to sexual harassment punishable by law.

For example, in July last year, a Nairobi court sentenced bus driver Nicholas Chege, bus conductor Meshack Mwangi and fuel station attendant Edward Ndung’u to death for stripping and sexually harassing and robbing a woman in a Githurai-bound matatu.

“This sentence is a notice to uncivilised men who might think that touching a woman’s bottom without her consent is a joke,” Nairobi Chief Magistrate Francis Andayi said in his ruling.

Sexual assault is not perpetrated by any man. Dr Chris Hart, a psychologist-based in Nairobi says that there are certain types of men who will be more likely to sexually assault women, and whose characteristics you must watch keenly.

“There are men who are turned on by violence and others who are not,” he says. “Sexual predators will tend to be turned on by violence, think that a woman’s ‘No!’ means ‘Yes!’, be heavy drinkers, be verbally hostile towards women, and get turned on by rape pornography.”

Dr Hart also says that there are men who will sexually attack a woman once and stop and there are others, too, who will attack once, and proceed to become serial predators.

Take 80-year-old American comedian Bill Cosby. On Tuesday, he was sentenced to three to 10 years prison and categorised as a sexually violent predator for drugging and sexually assaulting Ms. Andrea Constand in 2004. The punishment meted on Cosby has come as a relief to more than 60 other women who the comedian sexually assaulted over five decades. Nonetheless, Ms Constand was the only one legally allowed to press charges due to time limitation.

In Kenya, though, a victim will not be barred by time if she wanted to press charges for an incident of sexual assault that took place years ago.

NO STATUTE OF LIMITATION

Mike Macharia, a lawyer at the Centre for Rights Education and Awareness (CREAW) says that there is no statute of limitation that can stop you from seeking legal redress regardless of how long ago the assault took place.

“One of the things the accused and his defence will try to question is why it has taken you so long to report or have the incident prosecuted, but there are ways to go round this if there is strong evidence,” he says.

To seek justice for a sexual assault incident that took place months or years back, Macharia says that you will need to file a report at the police station just as you would any other crime.

“When making the report, produce any available evidence you may have such as witness accounts or medical documents to back up your report and strengthen your case,” he says. It will also be well if you can have someone with legal knowledge file the incident with you.

Evidently, this sheds water on claims that women who come out to report having been sexually accused are not truthful. Also, Dr Hart says that there is a reason why more women are now willing to come out and speak about sexual assault.

“Some years back, the society was generally too aggressive towards women who came out to report being raped or sexually assaulted. Today, the society is more understanding, empathetic and willing to address such cases,” he says. Previously, says Dr Hart, a woman’s account of rape or sexual assault would be judged in line with what she was wearing, where she was, who she was with, and whether she was drunk or not.

“The society would shift the blame from the perpetrator to the victim, but that is now changing,” he says. Nonetheless, there are certain grey areas that also lead women into silence.

“There are women like Ms. Blasey who were sexually abused as teenagers, but who now feel that they were not forced by the perpetrator to engage in a sexual act even though they were being taken advantage of,” he says. Locally, there have been cases of women who are publicly shamed and bullied on social media for saying that they have been sexually assaulted. In October last year, controversial blogger Cyprian Nyakundi made distasteful rape comments against radio presenter and rape survivor Adelle Onyango. Ms. Onyango had been raped at age 19 in Westlands while on a night out with her friends.

COMMON FORMS

One of the most common forms of sexual attacks that women face is unwanted advances from strangers or acquaintances. Despite telling a man ‘No!’ he is likely to keep making advances or even increase his tempo in hope that you want him to work harder.

Ken Munyua, a psychologist based in Nairobi says that a man might mistake a woman’s message of rejection for an invitation to pursue her harder. “Men are wired not to give up in the mating game. They strongly believe that they must conquer what they pursue,” he says. But this assumption thrives on the fodder that a woman’s ‘No!’ is never strong enough. “Myths are peddled among men that a woman cannot say no strongly enough. This leads many men into thinking that women say ‘No!’ simply to test their seriousness,” says Munyua.

The ripple effect is that such men will keep making advances and sexual gestures that you do not want and might even end up raping or sexually assaulting you. Apparently, rape and sexual assault is less likely to be perpetrated by strangers as it is to be committed by acquaintances. “You might be simply flirting with a man without any intention of having sex with him. But a man will take your words or memes as a sexual invitation card,” says Munyua.

“Take a lady who entertains outings, hugs, pecks, erotic communication and sexual tags and pet names from a male acquaintance she has no intention of getting sexually intimate with. Chances are high that in one of these outings, he might make an attempt to have sex with her, and once she rejects him, he might resort to sexual violence.” Munyua points out that if you strongly feel that you do not want any advances, you must clearly and loudly tell him to stop.

“Don’t toy with dinner invitations and surprise flowers if you don’t want him. Be clear on where he stands and take the necessary actions to enforce your position,” says Munyua.