What a phony embarrassment!
What you need to know:
- I was engrossed in the movie when my rickety door opened. Kevo, a wily community boyfriend, stood grinning at the entrance.
- He had dropped by to borrow my trendy sneakers because some rich lass wanted to take him out.
- I didn’t want to, but I gave him the shoes with hopes that for once, he would realise where the shoes pinched, and offer one of his many girls to this brother in need.
I am a comrade scorned. Little is “March” because February, the so called month for love, usurped my comrade salary and left me bitter as lemon. On Valentine’s Day, amid the flowery frenzy, I was in my happy place – a bedsitter so small that an occupant can be deafened by any loud thoughts.
I had skived class and was hooked to a movie series. I was not ready to witness the yearly Feb 14 madness. Who wanted to see Brayo, the Alejandro of the class, putting all of us men to shame by stringing a guitar while belting John Legend’s romantic songs on the corridor? Moreover, seeing campus girls colour clashing in various shades of red would be traumatic considering my initial dream of being a doctor was short lived due to my fear of bright red blood.
But I digress. I was engrossed in the movie when my rickety door opened. Kevo, a wily community boyfriend, stood grinning at the entrance. He had dropped by to borrow my trendy sneakers because some rich lass wanted to take him out. I didn’t want to, but I gave him the shoes with hopes that for once, he would realise where the shoes pinched, and offer one of his many girls to this brother in need. “Do these girls know you only afford to score 07 marks in CATs?” I asked him in provocation. “They don’t care about grades, they like me and avoid people like you because you have no confidence,” he jeered before dashing out.
With his comment, he left me a troubled man. I whipped out my fake iPhone and immediately went on WhatsApp. Topping the chat list was Stacey, a girl I had been eyeing. I was the beast, she was the beauty. I was no prince but I hoped she would be my Cinderella. I copied heart fluttering poems from Uncle Google and pasted them on her inbox. But, she usually replied with single words such as “Okay” or “Hmmm”. Maybe her cute little hands ached when she typed out paragraphs.
Driven by blind ego, I decided I was going to make her mine by hook or crook. I texted her with, “ I am ready to do anything, even if it’s to buy you the Pantom, oh I mean, Phantom Z. Because you are Phenomenal.” She replied to that in legendary Kipchoge’s record time.
“Gift me the phone tomorrow, and let’s talk,” she said. I was thrilled! I decided to buy her the extremely costly gadget since I knew that happiness wasn’t comparable to cash. I used my Helb money that had been disbursed the week before, which I had planned to use on sherehe. I ordered the phone from an online shop, encouraged by the thought of having blissful weekend sleepovers with Stacey. I pushed back thoughts of going bankrupt that semester.
I convinced myself that it was better to be thrown out of the house or sleep hungry but have a girl by my side. The phone was promptly delivered the next day. I received it and called her, but she didn’t pick my calls. After blowing up her phone with about 100 missed calls, her “friend” eventually called me with a rattling revelation. The caller, a guy with a shaky soprano voice, told me that Stacey was only pranking me to see whether I would genuinely get her a phone. I had been busted! And worse, she went ahead and blocked me! What do I do with this phone?