I’m moving a motion to abolish pet owning

By Dravil Duke

I have noticed with some annoyance that campus students have developed the terrible habit of keeping pets. The number of fluffy little white ugly dogs is increasing in my campus. Just yesterday, I witnessed a man walking his dog among hundreds of students who had to teeter along the road to avoid kicking the helpless creature.

And pets can be nasty. Unlike in the past when dogs could hunt and cats could kill mice and snakes, today's pets are nothing but pampered dolls whose immunisation and feeding expenditure alone equals my annual food bills. I really wonder why a cat should be kept as a pet. Yes, it is a beautiful creature, but it is also unimportant. Cats are so useless that they can't even help you if your house is broken into. The same goes for these shapeless little felines I see around campus these days. Anyway, I despise pets mostly because their owners are self-centered.

In Nairobi, I once spotted a large dog inside a Range Rover. The next day, I spotted another one inside a limousine at Carrefour. I was envious of them because I have never ridden in a Rangie or a Limo. Students who keep pets, in my opinion, are selfish. Extremely. All the food and medical care required by some dog breeds is enough to feed starving children for several years. Some may argue that it is not the dog owners’ responsibility but I submit that anyone who owns a pet is more likely to hold anti-poor beliefs. 

I understand the culture of pet keeping in the West because loneliness lives there and money is not a problem. Neither is housing. But where do you get the stomach to keep a pet while living in a crowded flat? Are you really so lonely that you need a dog? How can you share living space with a dog in a bed sitter? Can you afford a vet? What about dog food? Can you even properly feed yourself? You want to feed mahindi choma to that adorable dog? Individuals in Europe take their pets so seriously that they even take health insurance for them. Have you updated your  NHIF membership?

Look at our wealthy cousins in Runda, Kileleshwa and Muthaiga who own pets. They live in large houses, and their dogs slumber in better beds than mine. They shop abroad and only drink imported whiskey. Worse, they are the thieves that steal public funds. And they all own dogs. You see the problem? Why not house a student relative who is living in a dingy hostel? 

We should abolish pet owning. Humans are significantly more useful than animals. And for those comrades looking to pets for companionship, know that a single man or woman with a pet is a red flag. If you date them, be certain that they will treat the dog better than you. If you know you know.

Dravil is a student at Egerton University