Ask HR: Can I lose my job over accusations made by my ex?

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What you need to know:

  • An employment contract is explicitly between an employee and employer.


  • However, your behavior even out of the workplace can have an impact on the way the public perceives your employer’s brand, and bring it to disrepute.



  • Therefore, you should be careful so that he does not provoke you to cause an embarrassing scene.

I recently left my mentally unstable ex. He has a history of making up wild scenarios for his benefit. He has mentioned before that he will publicly humiliate me if I ever leave him. My question is, should I tell my boss and HR that he may reach out with crazy accusations against me or should I keep quiet and deal with it when it comes up? How best do I deal with this and can I lose my job because of accusations made by my ex-partner?

Ill mental health can affect anyone and unfortunately, there is stigma associated with the illness. It would be helpful to seek assistance for your ex- partner by talking to one of his close family members. It is possible that you are the only one who knows about this condition due to your close association. He seems to have an inferiority complex, hence the threats. You should also examine yourself and explore whether you might have behaved in a manner to make him insecure in the relationship. Nevertheless, it is commendable that you walked away from a toxic relationship. Most people don’t have the courage to do so yet this can sometimes mean the difference between life and death.

An employment contract is explicitly between an employee and employer. However, your behavior even out of the workplace can have an impact on the way the public perceives your employer’s brand, and bring it to disrepute. Therefore, you should be careful so that he does not provoke you to cause an embarrassing scene. Consider discussing the challenges you are facing with a trusted friend or relative of your ex- partner who can arbitrate and assist you end the relationship amicably.

If this fails, escalate the issue to the necessary authorities so that incase he makes real his threats of appearing in the office to make false accusation, he can be dealt with according to the law. It would be in order to inform your supervisor and HR depending on the level of trust you have. This will give you peace of mind and allow you to focus on your work as you will not be living in perpetual fear of your ex- partner storming the office and causing you embarrassment. You might also need time off to resolve the issues if you escalate them to the authorities, and it is for this reason that your supervisor should be aware of what you are going through. The safety of your job is dependent upon your performance and therefore this should be the least of your worries. Focus on your key performance objectives and avoid getting distracted by the drama in your personal life. Please get a balance in your personal life as this has an impact on your productivity.

Jane Muiruri                                                                                                         
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