Pay attention to signs he just isn’t into you

ex boyfriend

So believe him if he says he isn’t sure how he feels about you, or just wants you as a friend, or doesn’t believe in commitment.

Photo credit: Samuel Muigai | Nation Media Group

What you need to know:

  • Chatting online for months isn’t a relationship, things need to be happening in real life.
  • He’s so romantic, thoughtful and attentive you think he’s too good to be true.

Men have a bad reputation, but they’re actually much more straightforward than you think. So if you’re worrying whether a man is really into you, all you have to do is to pay attention to what he says and does. And never ignore anything that suggests he isn’t in love with you. No matter how rich or attractive he is.

So believe him if he says he isn’t sure how he feels about you, or just wants you as a friend, or doesn’t believe in commitment. He’s telling you the simple truth. And nothing you can do will change things.

Let him go if he talks about his ex too much. Simple statements like ‘she’s got my children’ is fine. But much more than that and he has unresolved issues.

Forget him if you’ve never actually met. Chatting online for months isn’t a relationship, things need to be happening in real life.

He doesn’t call, text or email you? You’re being avoided. Sorry, but that’s the truth. Accept no excuses. It’s not because he hasn’t got a signal or his battery died. It’s because he’s not that into you.

Pay attention if he never answers his phone when you’re around. Or he won’t let you anywhere near it. Chances are there’s something suspicious going on. Most likely he’s still playing the field.

Likewise if you don’t see him for days on end without a good reason. There may be someone else. Or he simply doesn’t want to be with you.

There’s probably lots more immediate signs. Like he somehow avoids eye contact, won’t get really close, or never really tells you anything about himself. Won’t say that he loves you. Puts down all your ideas. Doesn’t want to hang out with you. Avoids touching you in public. Or doesn’t seem interested in intimacy at all, even though you’ve been together a while. Why not? He’s not that into you.

Then there are the players. Things start off really hot, he can’t see enough of you, calls all the time and says he loves you. He’s so romantic, thoughtful and attentive you think he’s too good to be true. Well, you got that exactly right! This guy loves chasing women, but once he’s got what he wants, he’s after the next one.

Then there’s the guy who constantly fails to turn up, or refuses to make plans. While forever hanging out with his friends. He’s hoping something better is coming along. Or you only get to see him late at night? You’re his booty girl, aren’t you?

You never meet his friends or family? He celebrates his birthday without you? Never comes over to your house? You’ve never seen his place, or he won’t let you leave things there? He might just be an obsessive neat freak, but it’s far more likely that he’s trying to hide you from someone else. Worst of all, you’re the one footing the bill for everything? Just let him go.