Family WhatsApp groups are here to stay, and there’s nothing you can do about it

Okay, I need to write about family WhatsApp groups. You know exactly what I’m talking about because you’re probably in at least one. The one with your uncles in it, your aunts too and a multitude of cousins, even your father and mother are in there.

Unlike other WhatsApp groups set up with specific purposes, anything goes here, and most of it is forwards consisting of fake news from 10 years ago. On some days, you will even wake up to a forwarded appeal for help to find a missing puppy, never mind that the appeal was posted by someone living in Estonia. Five years ago.

Or those links with alarming headings such as, ‘Baby with three heads born in Mombasa’, or ‘Warning!!!!! Woman gives birth to snake!!!!’ And the senders get away with it, I mean, you’re not going to castigate your 68-year-old aunt for forwarding a post claiming that lemon and hot water taken eight times a day cures cancer, will you?

And what exactly can you do to the one that keeps forwarding those messages that declare, ‘Forward to 10 people and see a miracle happen’, or ‘Forward to 100 people if you are not ashamed of God’?

But let’s forget about the prolific ‘forwarders’ for a while. Let’s talk about the drunks in the group, the ones that believe these WhatsApp groups are a safe space to express themselves when they take a couple of beers and lose control of their faculties.

They will call out everyone in the group who they imagine has ever wronged them, or post incoherent posts or damning videos, which they will then rush to delete when they wake up the next day at midday, but by then, of course, everyone will have seen them, and the unfortunate person will have been thoroughly castigated in absentia.

What is most painful about these groups is that you cannot dare ‘left’ because everyone will be on your case, and even then, the admin will be ordered to ‘return’ you, whether you like it or not. You cannot even afford to leave even if the group is dormant, because you will be accused of feeling superior than others.

Apart from the forwards overtaken by events, this is also the group where proud parents tend to post their children’s milestones. Graduations, weddings, work promotions, new babies, new jobs…woe unto you if you never seem to accomplish anything that is worth posting here.

Your parents will give you a hard time and will keep comparing you to aunt so-and-so’s son or daughter who is now doing a PhD yet you’re still content with your one degree. Plus when do you plan to get married and get children that your mother can dot on? After all, all your cousins in the same age group are on baby number two.

Family WhatsApp groups are not all bad though, they are a convenient way to keep in touch, what with everyone being so busy nowadays. But the fact is that they can be tiring too. Very tiring. Unfortunately, you cannot afford to complain, and even though you’d rather mute the group, etiquette demands that once in a while you comment or post, even if it is to type, “Awwwwwww…” under a not so flattering picture of a cousin’s newborn, or “Looking lovely…” right under a terrible selfie of Auntie Wanjiku, spotting an especially bad weave.

Whether you like it or not, your family WhatsApp group is here to stay, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

This is totally unrelated, but allow me to drop it here. I came across this, “Apologise when you are wrong. Stop looking for quotes that support your stupidity.”

The writer is editor,

Society and  Magazines, Daily Nation.   Email: cnjunge@ ke.nationmedia.com