Home Engineer: The milk bar that didn’t dispense

Having just evaluated your not so applause-worthy threshold of pain, you sit up exhausted, but eager to glimpse at the life you just brought into this world. Holding the tiniest human being you have ever seen, you are overcome with immense joy knowing this is the fruit of the last nine months of penguin walks, damage to your bathroom scale, throwing up all over and a “broken” back.

Next step, breastfeeding. How hard could that be? Brace yourself. Latch, latch, nothing? You hold the baby for what seems like ages, but it isn’t getting anything. The nurse tries to teach you how to hold the baby and give you tips on how to get it suckling away. Nothing. you’re advised to relax, take a deep breath and keep trying. You are sore, agitated and on the brink of breaking down, “relax” is not in your vocabulary.

The advice train

The advice train is about to take off. Starts with the doctor, nurse, mother, mother in-law, friends with babies, husband who has been watching YouTube videos (why are you even watching other women breastfeed on the internet man! Let’s deal with him later), siblings and anyone else who cares to share an opinion. Yes, we appreciate you are only trying to help BUT, the pressure can drive one through the roof! It’s been over 24 hours; you are losing hope. The child is constantly crying and the main cause you are told is hunger and your milk bar has decided it’s not playing ball.

Surviving on nothing but droplets

Please get the baby a bottle and formula. Formula? Are you crazy? Speeches of how breast milk is the best for your child, begin. It feels like you have been thrust into a library filled with bookshelves of nothing but “why breastfeeding is best for your baby” titles. You know this too, but it’s not happening. It’s day two, the baby is surviving on nothing but droplets. The pressure from all quarters isn’t helping and stress has taken over your brain which in turn has sent signals to the girls not to release any nutritious drinks come what may.

Enough, I said 

Enough is enough, I am worn out of patience and the child is famished. The baby is on the brink of getting jaundice (not the type that yellow girls seem to desire these days) and that is not a route we are about to go down right now. The formula tin pops open and baby is introduced to what will be its favourite bottle for the next few years. The crying stops but you are dampened by sadness. You feel you have failed and now your child will grow up like bubble boy (remember that movie of the kid who did not have immunities and had to be locked up in a bubble so he doesn’t catch any diseases)? Worried, distressed and broken, someone finally whispers in your ear that it will all be okay. Looking back four years ago, yes, it is all okay. Not the most ideal scenario but it is what it is, despite being fully aware of the benefits of breastfeeding.

All mothers worry about their lack of breastfeeding (at least for those who don’t intentionally choose not to) and it can be overcome, hard as it may be. You can switch from exclusive breastfeeding to a combination of both natural and formula where possible. All in all, great support and just one voice of calm and content reasoning out of the multitudes, is all you truly need. Many at times that voice needs to be none other than your own.