Home Engineer: Motherhood is love

The month of love is in our midst, how about we define this word love? To many, love as a noun loosely translates to feel deep affection for (someone). But, for our purposes, we will choose to go with love as a verb which is defined as great interest and pleasure in something. Someone once mentioned that the female persona of love has three stages” the first in which we identify as a girl, unfazed by life’s hustles and bustles, after marriage we identify as a woman; more respectable and positioned with a rung higher in society and finally, upon motherhood, we transition to being full rounded humans, having categorised as successfully reaching the pinnacle of the existence of the female being. Sounds a bit primitive but let’s explore how love connects to each of these three stages of our lives.

Many forms 

As a blossoming young girl, love comes in many forms. During this stage, we are mostly receivers of love.

Our parents will shower us with immense love, hormonally charged males will chase us all over, and every other respectable member of society will treat us like eggshells. In this stage, we love ourselves the most because we feel wanted, needed and appreciated. 

Blindness kicks in 

Then luck (or is it really?) shines upon us, and we become betrothed, between a phase of girl-hood and womanhood. At this point, blindness kicks in or what us laypeople call, being blinded by love. Our hearts and minds automatically switch off from all other humans in existence and begin to singularly focus on ourselves and our soul (sole) mates. At this point, everything we do is aimed at sharing our love-filled energies with our partner to be.

Wedding bells and voila bestowed upon us is the crown of womanhood. Society begins to view us with respect, envy from certain quarters and hope for the rest. At this stage, we begin to love ourselves much more in disguise now, as we have attained society’s certificate of accomplishment but, need to keep up the charade, lest we fall foul of societal demands. It is said that when you get married, you don’t just marry the individual, you marry their family too. So now, you have to share the love between you and your partner and share with your extended relations as well.

Love redirected

And finally, bestow upon thee the honour of motherhood. Love instantly switches from all else and redirects to the blessed fruit of the womb. Your persona is now characterised by selfless sacrifice as we transition from ‘receivers’ to ‘givers’ of love. We give out (and up) our entire being to others. Love as a verb – we begin to take great interest and pleasure in looking after our families, our children, our homes and every other aspect, which directly connects with the personified stage we are now in. A stage which has no explanation be it theologically or even scientifically – a mother will sacrifice her health, wealth and desires for that of her child without a second thought. 

Notice how in each stage we have loved ourselves lesser and focused on loving others with greater intensity at every point. Truly if that is not loving, then what is?

So, as we stream around town with red flowers in hand, let’s remember the true givers of love. Theirs is a life built upon the foundation of love itself. Let’s celebrate the true meaning of affection by reflecting upon the carriers and givers of this most valuable possession that provides life itself. Love equals women.