Sharing is not always caring 

Sleeping couple

While it is almost unnatural not to share a bedroom when you are married, it is quite the stretch to share some personal items.

Photo credit: Shutterstock

What you need to know:

  • Socks are not for sharing, though I like to wear his socks when I have my knee-length boots on.
  • Reading glasses and earphones are not for sharing, please.

I read about this elderly couple that agreed to have separate bedrooms because they could never enjoy a good night’s sleep in the same bed. The husband has a serious snoring problem, and the wife is the kind that tosses around the bed the entire night. After years of sleep deprivation, one day the wife took an overnight trip to visit their daughter. It was then that they both discovered the joy of an uninterrupted full night’s sleep. I know what you are thinking. Do not worry, they figured that one out as well. Who says that can only happen in bed at night anyway?

Besides, it is only the sleeping time that was the issue. They still enjoy their intimate moments from whichever bedroom they prefer, but come sleeping time, each one moves back into their bedroom. It takes a level of maturity and friendship, I think, to get here. It is not everyone’s cup of tea to sleep alone especially in this cold season. The Kenyan couples that I have heard of who sleep in separate bedrooms usually do so because trust was irretrievably broken, and the relationship is in the ICU.

Some couples who take the vow of two become one quite literally. I am not judging – maybe I am - but do you know, some couples share a toothbrush, a towel and of late, a mask? The mask sharing should be tagged, ifikie CS Mutahi Kagwe. The health department should revise their civic education and design a module specifically for the married. Imagine getting home only to find your wife impatient at the gate, waiting for you. Before you can say hello, she says, “Curfew time might find me at the market. I was waiting for the mask!” She grabs it and dashes off to buy dinner. True story somewhere in the outskirts of Nairobi.

Smooth moving cars

While it is almost unnatural not to share a bedroom when you are married, it is quite the stretch to share some personal items. I have recently discovered some other items, not necessarily private, that you should not share with your spouse.

A car is one. I love clean, smooth moving cars. The ride or the waiting in traffic is much nicer when you are inside a recently vacuumed car. I no longer have my car, so we have had to share his car. The first time I used it, I was on Mombasa Road, in mad traffic and the sun unrelenting. I closed the window and switched on the AC for some cool air. I almost had an asthmatic attack because of the dust that was blown around in there. Coughing and panting for breath, I quickly switched off the AC and lowered the driver’s side of the window. As fate would have it, some minutes later, the earlier intense humidity gave in to a drizzle. But now the glass got stuck and could not roll up much as I tried. I was getting drenched. I called Hubby.

“You have to restart the car, then gently bang the inner side of the door. The glass will come up.” It never did. The petrol attendant that helped me once I pulled over, drenched, and upset tapped the door and told me to restart the car. It worked. “You need to have the wiring checked.” I relayed the same message to Hubby. I have now become adept at gentle tapping.

Socks not for sharing

My brother’s wife took his car for a wash. The car wash guys gave her queer looks as they cleaned out peanut peelings, dried miraa twigs and dozens of empty sanitiser bottles. My brother is a tad paranoid about Covid-19. When you get blessed, get yourself your car. 

Socks are not for sharing, though I like to wear his socks when I have my knee-length boots on. He, on the other hand, will not touch mine because they are a much smaller size and mostly, too colourful. But the other day, he put on my blue and white pair and went jogging. That was the end of their short, sweet life. He pulled them up to his calves and they lost all elasticity. Now he says they were too colourful for him to wear ever again. 

Reading glasses and earphones are not for sharing, please. This is not just for the marrieds but for all Kenyans who like borrowing such items. Sharing is not caring in such matters.

Karimi is a wife who believes in marriage. [email protected]

Welcome!

You're all set to enjoy unlimited Prime content.