Learning from a school tradition

In one of my former secondary schools, we had weekly sessions dubbed “Open Forum” (OF). Students would converge in the school hall and take seats facing the teaching and non-teaching staff.

It was a face-off none of us would miss for the world and at some point our headteacher pointed out that he had noticed that there were no sick leaves on Thursdays, the day Open Forum took place; that is how much we used to enjoy them.

 During these OFs, we would be blatantly honest with our teachers and support staff. If we thought they had been unfair, if we thought their teaching style was cr*p, if we thought the cook sucked or the cleaning staff needed a good clean up themselves, we would say it during OF without fear of repercussions. Whatever happened at OF remained there (except the decision), meaning that we had no fear of being victimised by a teacher we just criticised and if anybody felt that they were being picked on as a result, they were free to walk into the headteacher’s office and file a complaint.

Grudges were not allowed during OF. What neutralised these otherwise heated sessions was that we were all required to compliment the person we were criticising — the headteacher was of the opinion that nobody was all bad. If you were going to criticise someone, you had to find one good thing to say about them.

It was a two-way street; disgruntled teachers would tell us off in the nicest way possible when we were being spoilt teenage brats, but they were also required to find one good thing about the student they were criticising. 

For students, it was a chance to tell off our teachers, every student’s dream. But there was protocol; we were not allowed to be vindictive, we were not allowed to lie (we were required to back our claims with evidence).

Rude language was banned, and neither was shouting and interrupting allowed. The accused was required to sit through the accusation and only when the moderator signalled was the accused allowed to defend their action or apologise.

 I had the best of times in that school. The OFs were a lesson in humility, in honesty. It taught us that if you do or say the wrong thing to somebody, there were consequences, and you had to take responsibility and work at making yourself a better person.

 Then I changed schools. The administration in the new school could give the best African dictator a run for his money. Although, to hand it to the headteacher, she did not allow corporal punishment, a little blessing in that era.  

What I regret most is that, although I learned great lessons in the first school, the rest of the world seems more inclined to the rules of the second one. We become comfortable in wronging people, refuse to take responsibility for decisions we make, and frown upon humility.

I still make an effort to practise what I learned in the first school, but the atmosphere is not conducive. Left, right, and centre, people wrong me and at some point it becomes tiring. When I wrong people, I try to apologise, but get fed up of apologising to people who consider my apology a ploy to patronise them.

 Speaking from a point of experience, life is sweeter when everyone treads carefully — everybody goes home happy and guilt-free. But “dog eat dog” is a more popular way of life. It is a selfish world, we say things with little regard to other people’s feelings and get our way regardless of whom we trample on in the process.  We do not put ourselves in other people’s shoes before judging.

 We forget that no man is an island; whatever our social status, we have to co-exist. Other people’s bad experiences today might be our own experiences tomorrow.

 Open Forum, that is what we should all subscribe to. Make a decision that, from today, if somebody slights you, you let them know, in the nicest way possible. If you are slighted, do not go on the defensive, listen like the man/woman you are, and apologise.

 Important lesson to always remember, there is always something good about everyone, it is a nice point to start.
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