Hormonal imbalance almost cost me the bond with my children

Rose Ntong’ondu enjoyed working hard to provide the best possible life for her family. 
However, something happened two years ago that made her question why the harder she worked, the worse her moods seemed to get.

She experienced body weakness, nausea, dizziness, appetite loss, stomach aches, severe migraines, and falling sick just before her periods. The worst of all was the frequent bouts of anger. 

“I was angry all the time, for no reason at all. I had a very short temper that made me stay away from everyone, even the people I love. It was very hard that interaction with my children and husband ground to a near-halt,” she starts.

With the weird changes in her body affecting every other aspect of her life, Rose decided to seek medical attention. The problem was that most of the medics she approached did tests and the results came out negative.

“I was very frustrated because the way I was feeling was affecting my life completely. My eating habits, social life, and business nosedived, and I didn't even have the strength to give my children the attention they needed.”

With her problem seemingly mysterious, Rose decided to seek solace in her business.

She was taking one meal a day and working more than 12 hours a day with the little energy in her. Rose was, slowly but surely, killing herself.

Strained marriage

Her husband, David Ogallo explains that his wife’s condition put a huge strain on their marriage.

“She was very emotional, irritable, had a very short temper with everyone in the house and was constantly pissed. I felt terrible for her because I was running out of options on what to say or do for her,” explains David.

David remembers that one of the most memorable and difficult experiences during that time was seeing his wife struggle to get up from the bed.

“It was like her whole body was shutting down. She was literally struggling every single day. That was difficult. Very difficult,” he says.

She was referred to a gynaecologist who diagnosed her with ovarian cysts and put her on medication that seemed to work. However, the problem was back a year later, and worse than it had been before.

“I became severely fatigued and could barely serve one client. I just wanted to sleep.”

Fourth doctor

It is the fourth doctor she visited that diagnosed her problem as hormonal imbalance. She was informed that her testosterone levels were half of what the acceptable limit should be.

Her husband admits that before the doctor’s report, hormonal balance was a term he knew nothing about. 

According to Dr Kiptarus Caren of Iten County Referral Hospital, hormonal imbalance is a broad term used to describe an excess or deficiency of hormones in one’s body.

Some conditions caused by an imbalance in hormones are hereditary, but the majority are due to lifestyle.

Although the diagnosis had a negative report, Ogallo was happy that they knew where to start.

“I was relieved because at least there was an explanation for behaviour and change in mood. All I wanted was for her to get treated so that our lives could finally get back to normal,” he says.

In the case of Rose, she had sunk so deep into a business that she neglected her health, and by extension, body. The devastating effects were not only felt by her but everyone else around her.

“I was put on DHEA, Primolut and Borage supplements. I also had to completely change my working habits, slow down and rest more. I am still on treatment but I’m much better now. My energy is back and the headaches are gone,” she argues.

Hormonal imbalance

In a Facebook Live video mid this year, Rose opened up about her struggle with hormonal imbalance in a post that attracted thousands of reactions as hordes of women came out to share their own experiences.

Another chunk of them was not aware they suffered hormonal imbalance until the testimonies came out.

Dr Kiptarus underpins that most cases of hormonal imbalance are curable while some are lifelong, but lifestyle modification is the main thing in handling them. 

She argues that diagnosis of hormonal imbalance begins with signs and symptoms, physical exam, blood tests (hormonal assays), and in some cases imaging.

According to Rose, the hardest thing about dealing with hormonal imbalance is that no one understands. They keep thinking that one is just in a bad mood.

Hardest hit

The hardest hit in the equation were her children because Rose was no longer the mother they knew and loved. Her affection waned, and in its place came anger. 

“Because of her constant short fuse, our children were scared and sad. They didn't understand why their mother was angry about everything,” says David.

“There is a day my son asked if I didn't like them anymore. I just broke down and cried because I had no idea how to explain,” Rose explains.

The experience has, however, taught her that the body needs proper care before it gives in.

Rose, under the Make-up by Rose entity, now uses her experience to offer lessons and advice to fellow women who are battling hormonal imbalance or looking to get into the beauty industry.

Regarding the worst-case scenario that hormonal imbalance can get, Dr Kiptarus  says it is difficult to choose one since there are quite a few, but she mentions infertility and multi-organ failure which can result in death.

“Women have a delicate body system that needs regular checkups. Every woman needs that,” she underpins.

David too has picked valuable lessons from the experience, something that informs how she looks not only at his wife but women in general.

“I have learnt that women have issues that we men cannot understand even if we tried. Nowadays, I make sure that she takes a day off work to rest, and gets enough sleep,” he says.

It has to be noted that hormonal imbalance is not a preserve for the women only. Men, especially those who are ageing, are susceptible as their testosterone levels reduce while oestrogen levels increase.

Male menopause

This stage is called andropause (or male menopause), and it comes with changes that affect men physically, mentally and emotionally.

The decrease in testosterone levels brings about fatigue, frequent mood changes, loss of hair and weakening muscles. If left untreated for long, the increased oestrogen in males can cause prostate cancer, infertility, and emotional problems.

Hormonal balance in men can be brought about by life stresses, inadequate exercise, acute injury or illness, and malnutrition. 

The good news is that both men and women can put in place measures to mitigate against hormonal imbalance before it strikes. 

These include consuming proteins in good quantities, drinking green tea regularly and exercising. Sugars should also be ingested in minimal quantities.

According to statistics from Northwell Health, hormonal imbalance affects 80 per cent of women, out of which 70 per cent do not realise it. 

Blessing in disguise

Rose’s condition was not only felt by her employees, but it also changed them. For Ivy Riziki, her personal assistant, the outbursts by Rose bothered her in the beginning until she learnt how deep her problem was.

“It has taught me to never judge anyone until you know the reason behind their actions,” says Riziki, “I learnt to be patient with other people and understand them as well because there could be a story behind their outbursts,” she continues.

David concludes that the biggest change of all was him having to rework his lifestyle so that he spent more time with her in a bid to understand his wife better.

That has made their marriage even stronger, which makes it a blessing in disguise.

[email protected]