Let’s deconstruct the “happy wife, happy life” lie
Human emotions are fickle and often unpredictable. If your spouse is feeling great, then you can feel the same.
What the “happy wife, happy life” lie means is that your happiness is dependent on someone else’s emotions. Human emotions are fickle and often unpredictable. If your spouse is feeling great, then you can feel the same.
If she’s down in the dumps for whatever reason or PMS-ing, then tough luck, buddy, that’s what you’re stuck with. Man, live your life. Freely. And fiercely. Don’t be a prisoner of someone else’s emotions.
What the “happy wife, happy life” lie is doing is giving you responsibility for things that are the onus of the person in the mirror. Man, it’s your job to provide basic human needs for your family. Period. Happiness is an inside job, though. Your happiness, your hustle. Just as you should not be responsible for someone else’s misery, ditto happiness.
If you are not careful, the “happy wife, happy life” lie will turn you into a nutcase. Some people enter into a marriage with traumas so terrible they can drive top-notch shrinks absolutely nuts. If you throw all your life, love and light at such a person – without them first taking responsibility to exorcise their demons – you will plunge yourself into a black hole. You are a partner, not a pin cushion.
What the “happy wife, happy life” lie means is that there is an undetermined, and often high price and premiums, to pay for your happiness. It means, for instance, that there are things you have to buy for your spouse, and then, and only then, will you be happy. You have to behave a certain way, or follow certain rules that make your significant other happy. Or else. That’s not marriage, but merchandising. There. I said it.
What the “happy wife, happy life” lie means is that you cannot fully live your life, as it is dependent on someone else’s state of mind. It is as if you are a lifeless gadget and someone else has the remote control, and you will act according to the buttons they press. I’ve said it before, be an engine, not a caboose.
What the “happy wife, happy life” lie means is that you will make it your sole purpose to make the other person happy, at all costs, ignoring your needs, wants and mental health. Don’t do it, bro. You’re sowing the wind, and you will reap whirlwinds.
What the “happy wife, happy life” lie is doing is setting you up for catastrophic failure. Don’t neglect yourself and your needs to make another person happy. Humans will never be satisfied. As a husband, you will be measured by what you can provide. And you will often fall short, because – let’s face it – there are always better men. Just be happy, regardless.
What the “happy wife, happy life” lie does is to make you fear going home, especially if your spouse is having one of those days. Or if you have broken her happiness rules. A man’s home is his castle. A man’s hearth is his safe haven. It’s where he dreams, dances, dines and dies. A man’s home is his hiding and happy place, it’s where he runs for cover when life’s handed him a hiding, and where he heads to be hailed when he brings happy news.
What the “happy wife, happy life” lie means is that you need express permission from someone else to be happy and enjoy life. It means you will put your laughs on the shelf, and let them gather dust, until you get the green light from your spouse to turn on your happy lights. It means you will postpone your ha-ha moments, until? Only your girl knows. Really? Really. Me? In this revelatory and revelling phase of my life, I’m living out the sage words of Ralph Waldo Emerson: “To laugh often and much ...”.
