What you need to know:
- Your typical cheating woman is not driven by arrogance, ego, or lust. They are driven by a sense of loneliness thanks to a lack of satisfaction in their marriage.
- Poorer women are more likely to cheat compared to their wealthier counterparts.
- How your man feels about his performance in life and position in society can determine his fidelity to you, his intimacy with you, and his chances of approaching other women for sexual or romantic affairs.
There are people who, because of their behavioural traits and characteristics, are predisposed to having sexual relationships outside their marriages or main relationships.
The lonely wife
According to a survey conducted by IllicitEncounters.com, a dating website for married people with over 10,000 profiles in the UK, lonely but married women are more likely to cheat. “Your typical cheating woman is not driven by arrogance, ego, or lust. They are driven by a sense of loneliness thanks to a lack of satisfaction in their marriage,” the survey report stated. “This loneliness is further compounded for housewives who potentially spend hours alone, only to further be neglected when their husbands come home.” This is echoed by family therapist Susan Gacheru who says companionship and emotional connection are critical needs for women in both relationships and marriages. Although a married woman may be financially well off, the lack of companionship, physical and emotional connection and attention could easily spur an affair.
The low-income woman
Poorer women are more likely to cheat compared to their wealthier counterparts. According to the journal of Evolutionary Biology and Economics of Sexual Behaviour and Infidelity, this is mainly because poor women are on the look-out for more financially and genetically well-off men with whom they can move up the social ladder. For some women, cheating is meant to lead to a child out of wedlock as a way of introducing new and stronger genes to their lineage. A woman may desire a child from another man whose genes indicate that the child will be more successful in life and have a superior biological ability to fight off diseases. According to Kinyanjui Murigi, the director of DNA Testing Services, the majority of women who go for genes are able to successfully pass over other men’s pregnancies to their partners. However, Robin Baker, the author of The Science of Sex, says that low-income women subconsciously believe that they have nothing to lose if they are caught.
Beyond the search for better genes, persons with the variant of the dopamine receptor D4 polymorphism, also known as DRD4 gene, were more likely to have a history of uncommitted sex, including one-night stands and acts of infidelity. This gene is usually responsible for thrill and ecstasy and often induces a person to seek excitement and, or sexual thrill. Every human being has this gene, but its dominance in a person’s character varies from person to person.
A partner suddenly distanced from their mate – for example by getting a job abroad – may be vulnerable to cheating. This will be highly likely if intimacy was regular. “If he or she was used to regular physical intimacy, she can only hold on for so long before the sexual cravings creep in,” says psychologist Peter Ngugi. Chances of cheating will dramatically increase if there are no kids involved, and the concept of an open relationship has previously been idealised or fantasised. “With such fantasies and idealisation, and lack of family-oriented ties such as responsibilities to kids, a partner can justify their infidelity by reasoning that they are not tied down, or that their spouses can’t also sustain a break from regular intercourse,” he says.
A narcissistic partner will almost always cheat. Getting caught or being tied down to a long-term relationship won’t stop them. With this type of partner, it will never be about you getting their love and attention, but them getting your undivided submissiveness, attention, and sex. They live for the thrill of having multiple partners and getting away with it. “Despite the charm, a narcissist won’t really want to get to know you, get deeply involved with your life, express empathy, or talk authentically to you about your feelings and desires,” says psychologist Dr. Chris Hart.
Takeaway research: Men who think they’re winners are more likely to cheat
How your man feels about his performance in life and position in society can determine his fidelity to you, his intimacy with you, and his chances of approaching other women for sexual or romantic affairs. If he is generally doing well in life, his ego might be so inflated that he starts cheating on you. This will especially be likely if he thinks that he is doing better than his peers or competitors. This was found by research conducted by biological anthropologists from the University of Cambridge and published in the Journal of Human Nature. This study also reported that a man’s sexual hormones will significantly and swiftly change if he wins or loses, or thinks about winning and losing. “A perceived shift in social status can instigate a physiological change that will prepare him to shift his mating strategies in order to optimise his reproductive success,” the researchers said.
A man who thinks that he is winning in any aspect of life will experience an increase in his testosterone levels. A man who thinks that he is a loser will on the other hand experience a drop in his testosterone levels. “This shows that both testosterone and its corresponding psychological effects can fluctuate quickly and opportunistically, shifting towards short-term mating in response to a perceived change in status that may increase mating value,” said Dr. Danny Longman who was the study’s lead researcher.