What you need to know:
- Tell them that due to your financial strain, you are planning to stop any more financial aid. If they truly care about you and your spouse, they will understand.
Q: Thank you for your good work solving people relationship issues. Please help me with this. My in-laws have pestered me with their financial needs since way back before I married their daughter. I help them whenever I can, but I have tried in vain to tell them about my financial limitations. Please tell me what to do because they are driving me crazy.
A: Thank you for your compliment. The pleasure is all mine. Establishing a strong a relationship with your in-laws is a vital part of a happy and healthy marriage. Additionally, part of your relationship with your in-laws is give and take; but when they regularly take more than you can give then it is time to rethink the relationship.
Before you assume that you are just being used for your financial resources, though, it is key try to figure out exactly what the problem is. Your in-laws could be asking for money because they are not organised enough to sort out their own financial problems. Now that you are part of their family, they use you as a quick fix for debts and expenses.
Another possibility is that they could be genuinely poor and so they are not so much taking advantage of you as they are surviving off your few shillings. Whichever the possibility, it is important to look for a way out before this issue collapses your marriage. You will need to gather the courage to sit down with your in-laws even before they ask for money, and describe how the current situation makes you feel.
Tell them that due to your financial strain, you are planning to stop any more financial aid. If they truly care about you and your spouse, they will understand and learn their lesson. If not, then, it may put some very necessary distance between you. In all cases, it is wise that you do not take on this problem in a vacuum. Create time to sit with your wife and let her know your feelings towards her family’s behavior, and find out how she sees the situation. If you present a united front in dealing with your in-laws, then you will support each other whatever the outcome. Wishing you success.