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Those jealous of Executive and Judiciary handshake should wait for theirs in 2028

President William Ruto receives certificate from Chief Justice Martha Koome after taking oath of office on September 13, 2022.

The hustler government wishes to inform Kenyans that we’re aware of a sinister plot by our political enemies to scuttle the planned peace talks between the President of the Republic of Kenya and the Chief Justice, who is also the President of the Supreme Court of Kenya.

These detractors, who are known enemies of progress since time immemorial, are afraid the proposed bilateral talks will not only come up with a win-win formula that will ensure the Judiciary closes its eyes when the government holds a knife on the throat of Kenyans in the dark, but are also jealous of the talks culminating into a pompous handshake between the Judiciary and the Executive without the Deputy President watching helplessly from across his office window, like it happened in March 2018.

Indeed, when the hustler government started the all-out war against the Judiciary two weeks ago, we had studied each and every member of the Supreme Court bench and came to the conclusion that none of them had the political mettle to sustain a war of words with the hustler president who has the gift of a sharp tongue which was given to him by God to rein in on those who stand in his way towards getting whatever he wants.

The Bible tells the story, in Matthew 25:14–30, of a certain master who was leaving his home to embark on a long journey, and before leaving, entrusted his property to his servants. According to the abilities of each man, one servant received five talents, the second had received two, and the third received only one. Those who voted for the hustler government know how the story goes, and would not wish to be bored by it as they eat Bible verses for breakfast and wash it down with Hatupangwingwi songs.

Therefore, the hustler nation wishes to alert our political opponents who do not believe in God and are against our president exploiting his talent of playing victim every time things don’t go his way, that they should be advised that if the master comes back from his journey in 2027 and asks for his returns, the hustler nation will be at liberty to blame the Judiciary and all the enemies of Talanta Hela who made noise for us when we wanted to multiply the talents but instead buried them into a safe hole for the sake of of peace. Those cartels who are jealous of our president using his God given gift to settle scores with the Judiciary are better advised to cut us some slack, as everyone will be accountable for their own talent when the hour of reckoning finally comes.

We have come to this dramatic conclusion to let our humble president explore his God given talent in playing victim to maximum effect, because there were times when we had thought keeping quiet would let him calm down and focus on real work, but we later discovered God did not create everyone in his same likeness to sit back and settle for less, because had He had the intention, he would have created humans with a unique bodily makeup that discourages the enhancement of bipedal features.

We now know that those opposed to our planned talks with the Judiciary are maliciously dishonest individuals who are holding brief for corruption cartels fighting back since we destroyed all avenues they previously used to capture the state. Indeed, corruption cartels are the only reason we cannot talk to each other in private because they have planted informers all over the place and control the state organs responsible for listening into all the phone calls we make in the dark.

When we said that Uhuru Kenyatta is sponsoring other state organs to antagonise the government, many of you doubted our classified intel, until we saw it recently when the president had to look for money to afford a vehicle with a sunroof so that he could go tell the public that he cannot hold talks with the Chief Justice because he’s being derailed by those who don’t believe in God. Those advising the Chief Justice against meeting the hustler, therefore, should know there is only one who was given the sword at the Kasarani stadium and it wasn’t for cutting vegetables at the State House kitchen.

As a consequence to the way forward shared above, anyone intending to advise the hustler government on the doctrine of separation of powers must first show us a history of the path they have travelled with the hustler nation since we started fighting for the liberation of this country from children of dynasties who have been appointing their own into government positions and leaving the rest of our children to fight for menial jobs in Saudi Arabia. We will not allow those who have benefitted from state largesse to lecture us on who we should and shouldn’t meet.

We are aware that those opposed to our meeting are afraid that we risk compromising the independence of the Judiciary like they used to do during those dark days when they were working with the one-party state when judges who made unfavourable court rulings would be summoned to State House to explain in diagrams why they shouldn’t be charged with treason like their friends in the then opposition.

We want to assure the Chief Justice that there is no regime in Kenya right now who holds the Judiciary in utmost high regard, than the regime of Dr William Ruto who has a PhD in International Relations with our God who art in heaven, and was God’s candidate in the last elections without whose help we wouldn’t have come out the Bomas of Kenya alive that day we went to pick our certificate.

We also wish to reiterate that there is no need for the Chief Justice to be afraid of meeting government officials who do not support his bottom-up economic transformation agenda. If she’s in doubt, she should ask the four IEBC Commissioners who opposed his 2022 election win and are still roaming freely around the world without fear of state machinery being sent to knock on their doors and ask them to come out for a candid talk.