Treasury Cabinet Secretary Njuguna Ndung’u
Caption for the landscape image:

MPs should wait for State House renovation before threatening Treasury CS over CDF

National Treasury Cabinet Secretary Njuguna Ndung’u when he appeared before members of the Finance and National Planning Committee at County Hall in Nairobi on November 8, 2023. 

Photo credit: Dennis Onsongo | Nation Media Group

The hustler government wishes to inform all Members of Parliament (MPs) who appeared in parliament buildings this week threatening to impeach Treasury Cabinet Secretary Prof Njuguna Ndung’u, that we have taken notice of your idle threats and wish to remind you to go back home and be with your families.

We have taken this earliest opportunity to break our silence over this heated matter regarding the delay of the National Government Constituency Development Fund (NG-CDF), because it is our considered belief that there is only one arm of government that is allowed to threaten anyone right now, and it is not the legislature.

Indeed, when we stood on the steps of the Kasarani Stadium late 2022 and promised to deal with cartels immediately we brought the Bible down, many hustlers asked who those cartels were and one and half years down the line, we’re glad they have started seeing them coming out one by one antagonising the smooth implementation of the plan to increase the cost of living and leave no child in school.

Indeed, the hustler government is particularly concerned about MPs who have been vocal about this NG-CDF matter yet they belong to the ruling Kenya Kwanza coalition].

When we went around campaigning for all Kenya Kwanza candidates during the last elections, we did so as a formidable team driven by the unquestionable belief that when God is on our side there was no one who would have dared be against us.

Therefore, we are particularly been taken aback by statements emanating from some Kenya Kwanza MPs standing in front of rolling cameras and accusing the Treasury CS of laxity and incompetence, just because he has not released NG-CDF monies.

This is a stark contrast to latest sustained media reports accusing the hustler government of being sensitive to criticism and intolerant to divergent views. We hope the media will dedicate tons and tons of round the clock coverage to report the Kenya Kwanza MPs threatening to impeach their fellow government official.

Then there are also those MPs who belong to the opposition but due to the love of God had crossed over to our side to help the hustler government spread the word of God to all hustlers in their constituencies at a small fee.

We were also particularly surprised to see them joining their colleagues in calling for the head of the Treasury CS, forgetting the promises they had made to us, albeit at ungodly hours that they shall help protect the hustler government from political harm as we send our police officers to battle hardcore gangs in Haiti.

Indeed, when the hustler government invited some opposition MPs for a tour of State House so that they could see what had eluded them in the last elections, we had envisaged a situation where the MPs would have gone back to their colleagues and talked well of the five star reception we had accorded them, as the closest they had came to being in the land of milk and honey.

We, therefore, would like to know when those opposition MPs who promised to be in our pocket changed their minds and started speaking for hustlers whom they had abandoned when they came to take pictures at State House.

As we wait for the said turncoat MPs to explain to us in diagrams why they keep playing with our minds, the hustler government wishes to inform all hustlers to be wary of these notorious MPs who only speak the hustler language when they have been denied money by government, but when their mouths are full they never appear in mass protests called by hustlers to force the government to address the high cost of living.

The Bible says, in Mathew 7:16, that “By their deeds you shall know them”, and we wish to alert hustlers not to be lied to by the sweet words of their MPs who have been eating silently with the hustler government but are only coming out guns blazing because someone has stopped the tap from working optimally.

MPs claiming that the hustler government has prioritized reconstructing State House in the image and likeness of God at the expense of children of poor hustlers waiting for bursary money, should know that there is only one person who was chosen by God in the last elections and he doesn’t live in Parliament. The hustler government was elected on the premise of returning Kenya back to the body of Christ and this holy renewal must begin right from where our God chosen president lives.

Children of poor hustlers currently complaining about the sudden lack of interest in their academic needs should know that once we have brought down the old State House and built a new one in its place, God will reside in there fulltime and every prayer we shall conduct there will be promptly answered.

We, therefore, wish to ask them to be patient as we sweep all remnants of the dark forces we found living in State House when we took over. Indeed, we can neither confirm nor deny that since we brought down the bar at State House and rehabilitated all drunkards we found there, the spirit of alcoholic drinks has been haunting us and we have no choice but to bring down the entire place and begin anew in the name of the Lord.

The hustler government, therefore, would love to reassure Treasury CS Njuguna Ndung’u, that despite continuous calls for his removal by MPs, he should go to his nearest club house and continue with his round of golf unbothered, because a time will come when we shall open the files of those MPs threatening him with impeachment and we shall see who shall be left standing.