What you need to know:
- It is now more than two years since Polycarp Igathe resigned as Deputy Governor, citing lack of compatibility and breathing space.
- Alcohol is yet to declare interest in the governor’s post in 2022.
The messy, noisy and chaotic drama at the Nairobi County Assembly claimed its first major casualty this week.
Beatrice Elachi, the Assembly Speaker, had previously vowed to dish out fire for fire, but someone must have shown her the constantly rising price of fuel and she decided to let the MCAs continue burning without her.
Nairobi now has a governor working on Facebook, a senator sobering up from a lesson in arrogance, a County Assembly clerk in legal purgatory, and now the Speaker has thrown in the towel because she is tired of being constantly bathing in threats.
It is now more than two years since Polycarp Igathe resigned as Deputy Governor, citing lack of compatibility and breathing space. We called him names when he said his peace of mind was more important than worldly pleasures, and we told him had we known we were voting for a motivational speaker, we would have spruced up any of the street preachers and made them deputy governor.
A sack of popcorn
Turns out Polycarp Igathe is that prophet in the Bible who was not recognised in his home turf. We laughed at him when he told us to order a sack of popcorn and watch the free movie that was about to hit our cinemas. We owe him an apology for calling him a sentimental softie; and hope he forgives us, for we know not the terrible things he had seen with his own eyes.
Nairobians wish this was another election year, only for the calendar to remind them that punishment must come in staggered doses for the electoral lesson to be bitterly learnt.
Had we known we were replacing a boardroom non-performer with a chaotic drama king, we would have asked the Kenya National Theatre for their finest raw talent and saved taxpayers money for printing the Governor ballot.
It is common knowledge that Mike Sonko isn’t the sharpest tool in the box, but no one ever thought he could go on the record accusing alcohol of taking away the gene responsible for reading the deed of transfer, adding that those questioning his illiteracy should first frogmarch alcohol to the nearest hill and nail it on the cross. He does not realise there was no alcohol on the ballot in 2017.
Alcohol is yet to declare interest in the governor’s post in 2022. But were Nairobians to be given a choice between alcohol and its false accusers, it would be safe voting for alcohol, the guiding principle being that it is better to be punished for things you actually did than because someone abused you.
Beatrice Elachi did well walking away from the mess this week. It is rare to find public officials resigning from their position out of coercion or free will.
She could have opted to borrow from the Minister for Health’s marking scheme and told reporters that those police officers who clobbered MCAs are not his children; but she chose to look at the bigger picture hanging on her office wall, and visited State House to meet it in flesh and bones.
That is what you do when you are caught between a rowdy governor and fiendish MCAs. The ability to discern when to pull one’s feet from burning coal is not for everyone.
It doesn’t matter whether you have a degree from the Harvard Business School or a Certificate of Escape from Shimo la Tewa Prison, but if you do not know when to break up with unnecessary political drama, you will end up in a complicated relationship with the public; and this time there will be no alcohol to blame because consumption of alcohol in public has now been made illegal.