Gold wallpaper marks scandal claims at Number 10

All sorts of accusations are routinely laid against British governments regardless of their political makeup, ranging from inefficiency to favouritism, by way of injustice, sloth and stupidity. 

Happily, corruption is not normally on the charge sheet – until two murky issues recently prompted widespread cries of scandal. 

The first concerns the expensive refurbishment of the flat at 10 Downing Street, where Prime Minister Boris Johnson lives with his fiancée, Carrie Symonds. 

Prime ministers get an annual public grant of £30,000 for upkeep of these quarters, but sources say the makeover, arranged by Carrie and said to include gold wallpaper and fabulous curtains, cost as much as £200,000. 

The big question: Who paid the bill? Johnson says he did, but when asked if he received the money from someone else, wealthy friends or Conservative party donors, perhaps, he refused to say. Why is that important? Because a gift of such size would surely make him beholden to the gift-giver. 

Paid for refurbishment

As a commentator reasoned in The Guardian newspaper, “By refusing to tell us who first paid for the refurbishment, Johnson is denying us the right to know who he owes and what hold they might have on him.” 

The second issue involves the provision of contracts for protective equipment, transport and facilities to control the coronavirus when its seriousness was first understood. Investigators have discovered that multi-million-pound deals were concluded with Tory party donors, as well as friends and relatives of government politicians. 

Thoughtful voters will surely compare this shabby profligacy to Johnson’s decision to break his 2019 manifesto pledge and slash the UK’s foreign aid budget. Our contribution to the UN campaigns on HIV/Aids and water projects will be cut by 80 per cent, while assistance to the UN family planning programme will suffer even more. 

The question that all these issues raise is whether time is running out for Boris Johnson. Is this smiley, tousle-haired, old Etonian not quite the charmer we took him for? It was a housemaster at his public school who wrote that Johnson seemed to believe that he should be “free of the obligations which bind everyone else”.

Will this attitude finally constitute his downfall? Time will tell, but the odds seem to be narrowing. 

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One issue that never seems to go away is racism, the latest charges being laid against an institution you might least expect – the Church of England. 

The BBC Panorama programme told how a young black cleric received a picture of a banana with his head on it. He filed a grievance with the Church’s human resources department, but the decision was that the incident was not racist. 

The man left the Church, having received a very small amount in compensation and being forced to sign a non-disclosure agreement. 

A Brazilian-born trainee vicar, Peterson Feital, said he was subjected to racism and bullying throughout seven years with the Diocese of London. One official told him, “Your English is not very good, I don’t like your preaching and you are too Brazilian in your compassion and not very coherent.” 

Eventually, Peterson was told his contract would not be renewed. He is now out of work and claiming benefits. 

The Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, admitted last year that the Church had failed to tackle racism in its own ranks. 

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Last week’s column reported on a popular British TV programme, The Repair Shop, where broken heirlooms are restored to life by skilled craftspeople working in wood, leather, ceramics and so on. 

A reader reminds me that when it comes to repairs, you can’t beat Kenyans. Long-time resident Brian points out that worn-out shoes are not thrown away, as in the UK, but are soled and heeled, that shirt cuffs and collars are reversed and trousers patched to provide another year of life. 

His fridge in a tropical climate is still going after 20 years, TV ditto, while his car is running happily after 30 years, all due to the skills of clever Kenya fundis. 

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According to the internet, Jews constitute about two per cent of the US population, yet at times made up 50 per cent of America’s comedians – the likes of Danny Kaye, Groucho Marx, Woody Allen, Jerry Lewis, Jack Benny. 

And unlike many of today’s jokers, they never used swear words. But they do seem to be misogynists to a man. Herewith some of their efforts: 

“I’ve been in love with the same woman for forty years. If my wife ever finds out, she will kill me.”

“I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.”

“Someone stole all my credit cards but I won’t report it. The thief spends less than my wife did.” 

“She was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate.”

Doctor: “You’ll live to be sixty.” 

Patient: “I am sixty.”

Doctor: “See! What did I tell you?” 

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