Dear youth, democracy is not manna, enlist to vote

The electoral commission is begging the youth to register to vote, you’d think we’re living in the end times. The IEBC says that our young people are yet to report to their nearest voter registration centre, one week after President Uhuru Kenyatta instructed the police to let them stagger back home past 10pm.

While we’re happy to see them smiling past police checkpoints while flashing tumblers in the air, we’re gravely concerned that the hangover might have erased their memory of civic duty and we, therefore, wish to remind them of the following.

That after extensive evidence-based research, scientists have found that alcohol still doesn’t have legs, and even if it had, there is nowhere it would go other than continuing to rest inside the stomach. They further discovered that alcohol stopped competing with those who drink it after Kenyans complained to the government to convince alcohol to have mercy on their pockets.

The youth of this country have been on the government’s neck demanding recognition, employment and paid internships. They’ve always made it clear that they hold the power to hire and fire the President, his weeping deputy, and their missing MPs last seen helping Oscar Sudi search for his academic certificates.

We have lost count on the number of times the youth have gone on TV and reminded us that they’re the majority in this country. After those fiery speeches, Kenyans had expected to hear IEBC officials being admitted to hospital with back pains for being overwhelmed by the youth turnout at their registration centres.

Instead, the country is shocked to hear IEBC officials complaining that their conscience cannot allow them to continue being paid for sleeping on their desks. When a Kenyan civil servant comes out to plead with you to keep them busy, that’s the surest hint that we’re living in the end times.

Starved of good governance

The youth are a lucky generation. There are people in this country who’ve had their bones broken just for prodding IEBC officials to take their jobs seriously. If you won’t take advantage of the registration window to go register your dissatisfaction with government, someone who’d love to continue seeing you suffer will go on your behalf and you’ll keep asking where your grandfather was when his age mates were investing in the future.

You cannot continue reminding us that the youth are the majority in Kenya when you refuse to share the numbers with IEBC. We’re aware you have a complicated relationship with history, but you needn’t have gone to school to know that you cannot change a government by word of mouth. The only reason talk is still cheap is because the government doesn’t tax it.

Democracy isn’t manna that falls from heaven when you’re starved of good governance. Democracy is blood, sweat and fears. Democracy is that slimy-tongued gecko on your bedroom wall that keeps you awake at night.

The internet freedom you enjoy today was fought for by those who were once your age. There are countries where you can’t say those things you say online without being visited by bad people driving a truckload of duct tape. There was a time in this country you couldn’t whisper the name of the President in bad light. These days you can even drag his mother into conversations and you still get to snore loudly with your door open at night.

If you love your free speech more than Christ loves the Church, rush to your nearest voter registration centre and ask for your shield because we no longer have freedom fighters who’ll lay down their lives for you to twerk on Tiktok. 

The writer comments on topical issues; [email protected]