Time is now to quit toxic union
Among the factors that contribute to domestic violence is a culture that binds women to their husbands or marriage.
What you need to know:
- Today, toxic marriages count for the larger percentage of domestic violence and deaths.
- It’s better to walk out of a toxic union than wait for it to turn tragic.
A recent bizarre incident of a woman fatally biting her KDF husband in Kahawa, Nairobi, has been followed by a suspected murder-suicide case involving a police couple in nearby Ruaraka.
Before that, a 37-year-old man had strangled his two children in Kaseve Village, Mbooni, in Makueni. His body was found dangling on a tree in his compound. It was said that his estranged wife had threatened to take away the children.
A man once summoned his children home, closed the doors of the house and then set the house ablaze. They were all burnt to ashes. Neighbours tagged the cause of death to suspicion of infidelity.
Not long ago, a high school teacher in Siaya reportedly drove to a river and leapt into the raging waters. Investigations pointed at domestic squabbles.
Today, toxic marriages count for the larger percentage of domestic violence and deaths. But what is marriage if it’s to harm us, make us slaves and kill our conscience of reason? It’s better to walk out of a toxic union than wait for it to turn tragic. Regrettably, especially for men, doing so is seen as cowardice.
Domestic violence
Killing children as a displacement mechanism only exacerbates an already bad situation. Why innocent minors who don’t understand marital issues?
Among the factors that contribute to domestic violence is a culture that binds women to their husbands or marriage. She would put up with a violent husband to avoid embarrassment.
The second is infidelity, a major factor today with such marriages collapsing in a fortnight. A 2012 American Psychological Association study blamed infidelity for 20 to 40 per cent of divorces and more cases of domestic violence in the US.
Following a family dispute, many people sink into depression, which in most cases leads to their death.
Depression is like cancer; it slowly permeates the vital organs but, when it strikes, it does so with a bang — and, in most cases, fatally. It is like a viper; you don’t see it until it strikes its victim.
Mr Onyango is a teacher of English and literature. [email protected].
