US Capitol riots: Who’s the banana republic now?

Richard Barnett

Richard Barnett, a supporter of US President Donald Trump sits inside the office of US Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi inside the US Capitol in Washington, DC, on Wednesday. 

Photo credit: Saul Loeb | AFP

What you need to know:

  • To make it a blockbuster, the Riverwood producers will have to groom someone to be Trump-like.

The unexpected always happens and who knows, the best Kenyan-made film in a few years to come might be based on the true story of Wednesday’s mob invasion of the US Capitol.

Our very own Riverwood, known for underachieving releases and Ezekiel Mutua’s zealous censorship, might finally borrow a leaf from Hollywood in converting historical happenings into film.

It might finally turn tables on the so-called First World and its avuncular view of the Third World as the only place where transfer of power means mass protests, police shootings and blanket travel advisories.

To make it a blockbuster, the Riverwood producers will have to groom someone to be Trump-like.

He might be required to gain weight for months before shooting and, in interviews following the film’s release, he might probably dole out stories of how he gobbled up fast-food every day as he prepared for the role.

He will describe how he taught himself to talk like Mr Trump, like adopting a simplistic vocabulary full of superlatives and developing a strong liking for Twitter.

The producers will also work hard to replicate the scenes where Capitol protesters were photographed scaling walls, and before the shooting, they might place adverts calling for local actors with an experience in going up tall and seemingly insurmountable walls.

The film might have a title along the lines of “From First World to Third World in Four Years” or “Olympus Has Truly Fallen” or “The Day the US Capitol Became a Giant Trampoline”.  Its introduction will probably feature the reactions of various people to the happenings of the Capitol.

There might be former US President Barack Obama’s message flashing across the screen: “A moment of shame and great dishonour to our nation.”

The words of US Vice President Mike Pence might also run somewhere: “This attack on our Capitol will not be tolerated and those involved will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.” Swedish Prime Minister Stefan Löfven’s message might also feature: “President Trump and several members of Congress bear substantial responsibility for the developments.”

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