What the "tradwife" trend gets wrong about unpaid care work
A woman harvests potatoes with a baby strapped on her back. The real unsung heroes of unpaid care work remain invisible, largely absent from government policies and official statistics.
What you need to know:
- The "tradwife" trend on TikTok portrays an idealised and often monetised version of traditional housewife roles.
- This glossy depiction contrasts starkly with the harsh realities faced by countless women trapped in unpaid and undervalued care work yet remains largely invisible.
In 1963, Helen Andelin authored Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood in hopes of revitalising her own marriage. The book promises to unlock a husband’s love in ten simple steps. For me, using the term "simple" in the context of marriage is a glaring red flag; marriage is anything but simple. Embracing the ideals of Fascinating Womanhood purportedly leads to “Walking a path of no return; your man will never again be satisfied with the old you.”
TikTok trend
From accepting him and looking to his good side, never wounding his sensitive pride, making him number one, speaking cheerfully with a melodious lilt in your voice, to playing the woman's God-given role of homemaker, the advice seems archaic to modern sensibilities.
Yet, fast-forward to 2024, the resurgence of this mind-set in the "tradwife" TikTok trend makes me wonder whether we've circled back to the ideologies of the past six decades after Andelin's book was written.
The women in the "tradwife" movement are seen on carefully curated and edited TikTok videos chasing chickens for their husbands' dinners, cooking up a storm, and spring-cleaning, all while placing their partners' needs above their own, and keeping a cheerful demeanour. One of the most popular Kenyan “tradwives” is Sue Owino, who assures us that she cooks daily for her husband.
Happily married
The word is a fusion of "traditional" and "wife," these trailblazers are embracing the “timeless essence” of the 1950s housewife with a contemporary twist. Most of them claim they are happily married to men who respect their roles as homemakers and that their personal decisions are not meant to shame other women who are not doing the same.
Ironically, many so-called "tradwives" are actually influencers, monetising their domestic duties through sponsored content and endorsements. Some of them have managers who negotiate lucrative endorsement deals with brands.
Meanwhile, the real unsung heroes of unpaid care work, the “real tradwives”, like the women of Kajiado featured in the White Ribbon Alliance Kenya report on Unpaid Care and Domestic Work, remain invisible, largely absent from government policies and official statistics. This 2022 report highlights the fact that the women’s daily grind of caregiving, cooking, cleaning, and water-fetching sustains families and communities, yet their contributions languish in obscurity.
Unlike the "tradwives" of social media, these women aren't compensated for their labour, nor do they have the luxury of choice — they're bound by circumstance, without the option to walk away.
It's time to dismantle the romanticised image of the "tradwife," for it glosses over the harsh realities of unpaid care work. As we scroll through TikTok and admire the lives of "tradwives", let's not forget the invisible hands that truly uphold the fabric of society.
Miss Oneya comments on social and gender topics. (@FaithOneya; [email protected])
