Sandra Atieno: Helping college students stay safe while dating

Sandra Atieno, 23, seized the three-month dons' strike at Egerton University to actualise her long-held dream of tackling sexual and gender-based violence (SGBV) head-on, but with love.

She established a foundation named Crown With Care, which, in its three months of existence, has achieved admirable feats.

Sandra, a Bachelor of Arts (Gender Studies) finalist at Egerton, has been a gender representative at the university's student congress. She speaks of her passion for addressing GBV and mental health issues with zeal and zest.

"When I joined campus to study gender, my understanding of the course was scant. But with time, I've learnt that there is a lot that goes on around the world, which contributes to this violence and mental stress. That's what I want to share, first with the youth in a bid to make the world more habitable," she says.

She says GBV is rampant on campuses but, unfortunately, is not much talked about. Her friends have been abused, a factor that jolted her to action, she says.

"I have seen my friends and college students suffer in the name of love. This thing called love is messing up people's lives and the world is quiet," she says.

"Recently, for instance, a female friend of mine was thoroughly beaten by her boyfriend. The boyfriend's friends encouraged him to 'discipline' the girl. I talked to the girl to abandon ship, but a few days after the fight, the girl went back to her boyfriend."

Toxic relationships

It is such cases, Sandra believes, that make young people on campuses and elsewhere sink down the abyss of stress, and even lead to suicide cases.

"I don't know why bright young people are afraid of being single. Relationships among the youth are so much valued that people choose violence over being alone," she says.

To address this issue holistically, she has designed the Crown With Care Foundation to be anchored on mentorship, geared towards the youngsters.

"Through the foundation, I want to help the young people realise their crowns, that is, what they can do to benefit themselves and the society. After that, we help them clear or counter the barriers which might be preventing them from achieving their potential. Apparently, the most common hindrances are gender-based violence and stress," she says.

Sandra says that cases of gender abuse are so common that her foundation has had to handle a lot of them. However, because of the lack of legal experts within the foundation, she reports the cases to legal offices for action to be taken.

She believes that men and men are victims of GBV and mental stress, though men don't report abuses as much as women do. "In my short time at the helm of Crown With Care Foundation, I have received so many cases of women, and only one from a man."

Cultural barriers

Retrogressive cultural practices and wrong understanding of gender rights are the leading causes of SGBV, she says.

"You realise that some communities have practices such as widow inheritance, forced marriages, and female genital mutilation, which put young ladies, who, otherwise, could be in school, at a disadvantage," she says.

"You realise that men are also being victims of gender-based violence out of toxic feminism, where some women ride on the wave of gender equality to harass and abuse men."

The foundation currently has 30 members. The members organise functions on campus and off-campus, to speak to the youth and offer mentorship. Since its inception, Crown With Care has organised online talks and seminars. In addition, it uses films and documentaries to spread its gospel, among other media.

"We aim to go to the grassroots and reach all corners of the country, where these problems are taking place at higher rates than in towns. But due to lack of enough resources, we are concentrating in Nakuru for now."

In the online seminars, the members invite friends and relatives who work in various organisations that deal with the issues. In the last seminar, they had someone from the United Nations as one of the speakers.

Besides online events and advocacy, the foundation visits schools within Nakuru and children's centres to spread the word.

"Our last event was held at Njoro Central Secondary School. We learnt a lot from the visit. You find that after the talks, the students come to us and share personal stuff that is so serious. We try to help and advise where we can. We also provide basic items to these students, because we realised that there is a big need for such," she says.

Funding fears

However, she says that they get small donations from friends, and she is afraid that the friends might grow tired and stop giving, a move that might throw their plans into disarray.

"It is a thing that worries me every day. Sometimes I have even contemplated quitting the course altogether. However, since we have survived this far, I now plan to introduce a membership fee, which will boost our source of funds as we chart the waters of more sources of funds."

She says that her lecturers, friends and parents have been the wind below her wings, pushing her through days when discouragement comes upon her like a tonne of bricks.

"One of my lecturers, Dr Masinde, has been a constant source of advice and guidance. Then there is my grandfather who keeps telling me to keep at it. In fact, he always prays that the foundation reaches Mumias, my hometown and help boys and girls there. But the greatest motivation is when I see us help a boy or girl, who was in trouble get their smile back," she says.

Besides reaching out to friends, college mates and school, Crown With Care organises team-building events for its members, to rejuvenate and learn.

"Our model is geared towards creating a chain of impacts, where we mentor and influence someone and bid them do the same to other people within their circle and reach. So far, it has somewhat worked, and we hope to have it work more and better in the coming days," she says.

[email protected]