From GBV survivor to a champion

When not in the studio writing or recording music, 29-year-old Laurriette Rota is out campaigning against gender-based violence (GBV).

Late last year, she organised an event dubbed ‘Art against Abuse’ where artistes of different genres gathered at the Little Theatre Club (LTC) in Mombasa to speak against GBV through their work.

The poems, songs, spoken word, plays, art exhibition, speeches and the discussions at LTC campaigned against the vice, with the artistes sharing their personal experiences, or what people around them had gone through.

Ms Rota says that going through emotional and physical abuse during her early 20s despite being an artiste and a psychologist, ignited her passion to create a safe space where other people with similar experiences would gather, share, and get the needed help.

The CEO of Larota Management, a company that manages artistes, says hanging on abusive relationship can ruin one’s career.

Through her platform, ‘Art against abuse’ which was formed in 2014, youths undergoing depression are connected to specialists who offer them guidance. Those who have experienced any form of abuse also get assistance.

“I was in a relationship for a year before we parted ways. The first six months were good, love was evident but things took another twist. My partner pointed at my weaknesses all the time.

“He once even questioned how I became a fashion model with my dark skin. I started losing confidence and the music I wrote then was mostly about break-ups; this got my producers concerned,” recalls Ms Rota adding that negative sentiments from the person she trusted, ripped off her self-esteem.

She says her partner who was once very loving became unfaithful and violent. She would, however, blame her state of being jobless for her tribulations.

“I was fresh from campus thus, didn’t have a fulltime job. When my partner became unfaithful, I confronted him but he always blamed me to a point that I sometimes believed the negative things he said about me. I slowly sank into depression,” Ms Rota says.  

She was always the charming person who would listen to her friends’ troubles and offer guidance. She, however, says she never opened up about her own tribulations because being a psychologist, she thought she would sort things out by herself.

“With time, I realised I was conditioning him using the skills I learnt in my psychology class; they could not work for him because that was his personality.

“One night he arrived home late and I tried questioning why but he shoved me onto the floor, and followed it with a series of slaps,” she adds.

Ms Rota, however, decided to forgive him since this was the first time he had turned violent on her. In her mind, she is the one who had provoked his action.

“We talked the issue out and reconciled. He often said that I provoked his actions, while I knew he was short-tempered. He could also use his drunken state as an excuse for the violence but after some time, he reverted to violence and with time, I decided to leave,” she says.

According to her, it is easier to deal with physical than emotional abuse. It took her about three years to regain her confidence and self-esteem.

“I was raised a confident person. I believed I was beautiful despite my skin colour, and a go-getter. For a while, the relationship erased all the positive beliefs I had about myself,” Ms Rota adds.

A union, she says, should be based on love regardless of the struggles within, adding that violence is not a solution.

“I know there are many young people hanging on to such toxic relationships, enduring the beatings and mean words all because of love, but it is not right,” she says with a counsellor’s conviction.

Ms Rota did not, however, give up on love and is currently married with two children.