Agony of single mums expelled by Gabbra community

Childbearing out of wedlock and teen pregnancies have recently sparked debate in Kenya.

Within the Gabbra community in Marsabit County, however, the issues are muted and only spoken of in hushed tones as they are considered a taboo.

According to the Indigenous Rights and Resource Management Organisation (Iremo), a lobby, sex outside "properly instituted marriage" is despised by the Gabbra.

Read: Gender wars: How single parenting is changing the face of family

“Gabbra community customs forbid sexual relationships outside marriage and the children born out of wedlock are maltreated in a way that I feel is unfair, partial, and discriminatory” says Ms Darare Salesa, Iremo’s CEO.

Gabbra social norms proclaim marriage as the only legal way for sexual interactions and childbearing. Anything outside such parameters is considered illicit.

Virginity

The purity of a girl has, over the years, been held in high esteem to an extent that during traditional marriage ceremonies, a bride was subjected to a purity test. A white sheet would be spread on newlyweds’ bed just before their first sexual intercourse just to establish that she was still a virgin.

A bride who passed such a test would be wildly celebrated with songs, ovations and shouts of acclamation. On the contrary, those who failed would be rejected, derided and considered a source of shame to their families. Those who espouse the tradition say it has led to low teenage pregnancies.

Read: More women become single mothers as men abandon family roles

But Ms Salesa expresses concern that girls caught up in such deviations are perceived as having practised the “unnatural and detestable”, and deemed as the embodiment of societal decay.

The tradition has over the years hurt young girls who give birth at the age of 14–17 out of wedlock, as well as their children. Such girls spend their teenage years tending family livestock. Most of them are taken advantage of by young herdboys.

The tradition frames and punishes only women as the source of moral decay and has, therefore, been considered a serious form of gender discrimination and marginalisation. Young men who are responsible for such pregnancies are cleansed, integrated into society, and get to marry ‘morally pure’ women.

Even paternity was out of order as children born out of such affairs were outright ridiculed and declared bastards who should not identify with the community.

Their offspring were also never allowed to marry other members of the community. Until 2006, Gabbra girls who got pregnant out of wedlock were chased unceremoniously. They would move to neighbouring communities such as Rendille or Turkana.

Community slowly changing

But thanks to Iremo’s efforts against such rights violations, the situation is changing, albeit slowly. Today, single women in North Horr sub-county are now allowed to live within the community but only at trading centres.

According to the data compiled by Iremo, there are 46 single mothers in Maikona, 40 in Kalacha, 76 in Dukana, and 100 in North Horr trading centres. The number could be way bigger as they only documented those who agreed to join socioeconomic empowerment groups.

Ms Salesa is happy that the talks they have had with elders are bearing fruit as they began toning down their hard stance.

Nation.africa established how palpable the rejection of single mothers led to their and their children’s marginalization and suffering.

Victims speak up

In an interview, Sororo Dimba Dambala, 55, a mother of five, painted a grim picture of a lonely life. After giving birth to her first child, she was sent packing to the Kalacha trading centre. She has had to adapt to new ways of eking a living.

Similar experiences were recounted by Arbe Katelo, 56, a mother of six. They were not allowed to reunite with their family, having been declared outcasts. There were days they had to venture into illicit brew business to survive. But that always got them locking horns with law enforcers.

Thune Wario, a mother of three, and Tume Abudho, a mother of four, from Hurri Hills trading centre also had agonising experiences. They, however, found hope in Iremo’s programmes that gave their groups Sh100,000 each to help them venture into licit businesses such as groceries to boost their lives and livelihoods.

Ms Dimba tells nation.africa that they had been sidelined and their children were the only hope they had in life. That is why they put premium on their education in the hope that should they one day succeed in life, they would bolster their social standing in society. They appealed to the government and other stakeholders for funds so that they can expand their businesses or venture into the livestock trade, which is lucrative in the region.

No to harmful customs

Most African communities tend to define a child by his ancestors, to the suffering of children whose fathers cannot be determined. Filiation, therefore, is of absolute significance and every child would always want to trace their roots.

But not everyone is buying into such beliefs. For Adho Guyo (not her real name), who has had to grapple with the discrimination meted out to single mothers among the Gabbra, it is difficult to come to terms with the community’s refusal to recognise children born out of wedlock.

She says children are innocent as they never applied for their births to take place in such a manner. She terms such customs irreverent and unwise as they cause unnecessary harm to children more than anyone else.

“I find it nonsensical for a community to send packing a young girl who has been impregnated, yet the culprits responsible for such acts are protected.”

Having been born out of wedlock, Ms Guyo gave an account of the anguish her mother had to face after being sent packing. She finds it hard to take pride in being a Gabbra, cringing at the mention of the community, which, she says, disowns its own people.

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