A third of Kenyan men mistreated by partners

More than a third of Kenyan men have experienced intimate partner violence. The recently released 2022 Kenya Demographic and Health Survey (KDHS) indicates that 36 per cent of men have suffered economic, psychological (emotional), physical, or sexual violence at some point in their relationships. 

Men in urban areas are more likely than their rural counterparts to encounter at least one form of violence.

Psychological or emotional violence – including humiliation in front of others, threats to hurt or harm, insults or belittlement – was the most prevalent, with 25 per cent of men having endured it at some point.

Additionally, 19 per cent of male respondents shared that they had experienced this form of violence within the year preceding the survey.

Weighing in on the statistics, Allan Kutsushi recalls how he experienced emotional violence without knowing it, until much later when a friend described what he had gone through.

"It was always how she would demean me no matter what I did for her and how she constantly compared me with other men, reminding me what her ideal type of man was, which apparently was not me,” he says.

“I would strive to become what she wanted, but when I did, she would again flip the script. I laugh now, but my esteem was so shattered that I would find myself on Google looking for answers wondering why I was never good enough."

Also read: Why Igembe men suffer in silence at the hands of wives

The survey also indicated that eight per cent of male participants disclosed experiencing physical violence, with six per cent of the survivors experiencing it within the 12 months before the survey was conducted. The report defines physical violence as slapping, beating, choking or attacking with a knife or gun, among others.

For Mike Ratemo*, society has trivialised violence against men, at times making a mockery out of it.

"Up until my partner's brother was assaulted by his wife, she would laugh when she heard of men who were battered by their wives, in some instances saying they deserved it.

"But all that changed the day we were called and told that my in-law, who was attacked by his wife, had been found in a pool of his blood and there were chances that he would not make it."

Sexual violence, which the study refers to physically as being forced to have intercourse without consent, is less frequently reported by men. It affects six per cent of men, with four per cent of victims having suffered in the year leading up to the survey.

Lastly, men reported economic violence, defined as the restriction, exploitation or sabotage of one's ability to acquire, access or maintain economic resources. Six per cent of men said they have experienced economic violence, while two per cent reported experiencing such violence in the 12 months before the survey. 

Simon Muchiri recalled how his uncle's life, now a divorcee, spiralled out of control. "When he lost his job, he and the wife agreed to put her car into the taxi business. When the business had taken off and it was doing well, they had a disagreement and she sold the vehicle. He has never recovered. These days, he drinks cheap liquor day and night." 

The findings of the report bring attention to the need for increased awareness and support for male victims of intimate partner violence. 

Stigma

Societal stigma surrounding male victims of violence remains a barrier to open conversations and support systems for those facing trauma, and hinders the creation of a safer and more inclusive environment for all.

According to the KDHS report, men are least likely to seek help from their friends when they suffer physical violence. Some 48 per cent of men will turn to their families for help, 26 per cent to the police, but only 16 per cent will turn to friends.

In the country, there are also limited safe houses for men who experience sexual and/ or physical violence. According to the National Shelter Network, out of six government-run safe houses and 56 private ones, only five cater to the needs of male survivors.

John Mukabane, a social worker, in a previous interview with Nation.Africa lamented the unequal effort put by both government and non-governmental agencies to combat violence. He asked that they consider and address the needs of male survivors in their overall approach of prevention and support.

“Society has focused on raising awareness of violence against women at the expense of men, despite the fact that men undergo similar challenges. Balance efforts in supporting all survivors, instead of focusing on women only," he said.

*Named changed to protect identity.

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